My Reason to Live

Chapter 15

"Nope. No way. I'm not going on that thing. You know I don't like flying, Thirlwall. No fucking way am I getting on that plane."

I'm standing in front of a small plane, similar to the one in the picture of Jade and Kate—the fiancée. Yep, not going there again.

Except this one is white with a black underbelly and a black-and-bronze tail. And I can see a sign that says we're at London Oxford Airport. Good to know where I am at least.

Back at the house, Jade wouldn't tell me what she had planned. And then she insisted on blindfolding me.

Blindfolded. I know, right? Sounds awesome. Would have been awesome and totally kinky if there had been sex involved. But an airplane? Not remotely sexy at all.

Standing behind me, her hands on my shoulders, Jade laughs, and I lean against her, enjoying the warmth her body radiates.

"Pez, you flew on a plane to get to England."

Turning my head, I slide my eyes up to hers. "I flew on that plane—your plane—to get me here for my trip. Necessity. No way in hell am I flying in a plane for the fun of it." I fold my arms over my chest.

Jade moves around me to stand in front of me. She closes hers hands around my upper arms. "I know you don't like flying, but I thought you wanted to do something that terrified you to the point of pissing your pants?"

"Stop quoting my list to me. And I did do something that scared me—the roller coaster, remember?"

Smiling, she says, "I remember. But you didn't piss your pants, so you couldn't have been that scared."

"Oh, I was scared. Believe me. And how do you know I didn't piss myself?"

"Because I fucked the hell out of you soon after. The only wet patch on your knickers was from me making you come."

Good point. My mind immediately slips back to that moment in the Hook a Duck tent, making my insides coil. Awesome memory.

"So, I didn't piss myself. But I was definitely afraid."

Jade slides her hands down my arms, forcing me to loosen and release them from my chest. She takes my hands in hers, holding them between us. "I know you were scared. But after the fear left, do you remember how you felt?"

"Relieved that I'd done it and that I'd never have to do it again."

She has a gentle smile on her face, shaking her head. "You were happy. I could see it in your eyes, Pez. You had this look...you looked free."

Maybe, in that moment, I was. But I'm not free. I won't be free until I see them again. Until I pay my penance.

Jade steps closer. Her scent washes over me, easing the fear inside.

"He who has overcome his fears will truly be free."

"And you can stop quoting Aristotle to me as well." I frown, but it's not as deep as it should be, and that's because of her and her infectious laugh and her smiling face and her sparkling chocolate eyes.

Damn her.

Jade's smile fades. Her expression deepens, her eyes turning serious. "You've faced a brain tumor and survived. Not many people can say that."

"Quite a few can. I can quote statistics, if you'd like?"

It's her turn to frown. "I don't care about other people. I care about you."

Her hands leave mine, and she cups my face with them. "I thought I knew the meaning of the word bravery—until I met you. You'd stared death in the face, and you won. Nothing is more terrifying than that."