My Reason to Live

Chapter 23

I watch as Perrie slowly rises to her feet, standing up from the sofa in the building's lobby where she was sitting. Her eyes are fixed on me.

And I can't move. I'm frozen in place, and my heart is trying to kick its way out of my chest and get to her.

She's here. That has to be a good sign, right?

You thought that the last time when she showed up at Lenny's Bar.

Look how that turned out.

Taking a deep breath, I force my feet to move, and I start walking towards her.

My insides are trembling. I've never felt as afraid as I do right now.

This breathtakingly beautiful girl in front of me has reduced me to a mess of emotions and put me on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

But I still want more of her. I will always want her.

I stop a few feet away.

"Hey," she says, her voice soft, small.

She's holding her hands in front of her stomach, wringing them, like she's anxious. My eyes go from her hands to her suitcase sitting by her feet and finally back to her face.

I part my dry lips. "I-I was...I've been at the airport. Looking for you. I thought..." My eyes go to her suitcase again. "The hospital called, said you'd left. And you checked out of the hotel." I meet back with her eyes. "I thought you were leaving. I thought you were going...home."

Her eyes drift away from my face. "I was...I am."

My heart drops, feeling like it's been sucker-punched.

"Perrie-"

I make a move towards her. She lifts a hand, stopping me in my tracks.

"Let me finish, please," she says.

Her eyes are filled with so much emotion that I can't decipher where her head is at or what she's thinking right now.

And I want to argue. Everything inside me is telling me to argue, to fight for her...but she's asked for the chance to talk. I'll give it to her, and then I'll argue her down on everything she has said. Because I'm not letting her leave here. And I'm not walking away this time.

I will not let her die. I'm fighting for her. And I'll fight dirty if I have to.

So, I say nothing and give a nod of my head in response.

She takes a deep breath, almost like she's preparing to say something, and my insides tighten.

She clasps her hands together in front of her. "I know I've already said I'm sorry to you a million times, but I am." Her eyes come to mine. "I'm so sorry. I need you to know that. And I need you to know that I never intentionally meant to lie to you about being sick. I mean, I did lie, but it was before we were..." She gestures a hand between us. "I didn't know then that you were going to become as important to me as you are, and then when I did realize...I guess I was afraid." She wraps her arms over her stomach. "Afraid that if you knew the truth about how I felt about you, it would change things, change my mind about what I had to do..." Her eyes lower, her hands dropping by her sides. "And you did—you have changed things. You've changed me."

She blows out a breath. I'm holding mine.

"I've kept a lot of things from you, Jade. Things I shouldn't have kept from you. And you know everything now, except for this one thing. The only thing that matters now. And I knew I couldn't go without telling you."

Her impossibly beautiful eyes lift back to mine. "I love you. I'm in love with you. I have been for a while now." She exhales softly. "Falling in love might not have been on my list...but I'm so glad I fell with you, Jade."