AMITIÉ | Stray Kids

chapter four

start of cracks

Felix's words echoed in Hea's mind all day. Her confidence in her friends choosing her over Mirae began to fade after their conversation.
What if they really leave me for her? she thought, fear gnawing at her.

She didn’t want to lose them, they were her only friends and the only people she could truly trust. She would do anything to prevent their friendship from fading away—even if it meant pretending to be okay around Mirae.

Two weeks later

It had been two long weeks since Hea started to feel like she was ruining herself. As usual, her friends grew closer to Mirae, often leaving her alone. She felt trapped, forced to stay with them because of Felix's warning. The fear of losing her only friends kept her in a painful situation, enduring the hurt over and over again.

“Hea? Let’s go!” Jisung called, snapping her out of her thoughts. Today, they had planned a small picnic. Of course, she didn’t want to join them, but Jisung’s pleading made it impossible to refuse.

This was always the pattern, when they made plans and she hesitated to join, they would beg until she had no choice but to agree. But once they were together, they would ignore her and focus all their attention on Mirae as she bragged about her life—stories that Hea knew were mostly lies.

They understood that she didn’t like Mirae and never forced her to accept her. Yet, when arguments erupted between them, they always sided with Mirae, believing Hea was being childish for acting out.

If only they knew how terrible she really was.
Hea couldn’t understand why her friends had been so easily blinded by Mirae.

They were aware that Mirae often instigated their fights by speaking ill of Hea, yet they never corrected her or acknowledged that if Hea didn’t act rudely toward Mirae, there would be no conflict at all.

How bold of them to think she was lying! They had known Hea far longer than they had known Mirae—how could she be the bad one?

Hea was growing weary of pretending everything was okay for their sake. She felt sorry for Jeongin; he would be disappointed if he found out how desperate she had become.

As evening fell, everyone headed home. Hea walked alone since Seungmin had an emergency at home and couldn’t accompany her. The three of them left with Mirae to walk her back to her house.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she muttered, kicking pebbles along the ground.

Since Mirae joined their circle, Hea felt increasingly lonely and worthless. Whenever she expressed a need for support, they laughed and told her she was strong enough already—yet when Mirae needed help, they rushed to assist her without hesitation.

I’m a girl too, Hea thought bitterly. If she needs them, I need them more.

Jeongin would often ask her why she looked down. She lied and said it was just stress from school, and he never hesitated to try to make her feel better.

What would I do without him?

These days, he was the only person who brightened her mood.

Hea reached home feeling exhausted. Jeongin mentioned he was busy preparing something for school, so she didn’t bother him and went straight to her room. After washing up, she lay down on her bed as thoughts flooded in.

She felt worried and disappointed in her friends—especially Minho. They had always been the closest among the group, but since Mirae arrived, he had started distancing himself from her. It was upsetting.