A Second Chance

Chapter 11

"Cori I-"

Tears streamed from my eyes as I tried to say the words that I knew I came to say, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't let her go, not yet.

I don't think most people realise how hard it is to say goodbye. To let go of someone who made your world turn. To let go of someone who used to consume your very being. To have to come to terms with the fact that they cannot be the person you rely on anymore, is one of the most heart-breaking things someone can go through. I'm broken enough, don't you think?

I drop to my knees and choke on the bile that rises up my throat as I read and reread the quote on her headstone. 

"Cori, I had come to say goodbye to you. To make peace with the fact that you are gone, but I don't think I can do that. I don't think I can ever go a day without missing you, without thinking about you and the life we could have had. The life that was taken from us without our consent. People keep telling me that I need to let you go, so that I can move on. They just don't seem to understand that it is easier said than done. 
I loved you. I love you. I would travel the ends of the universe to find you again. To have myself returned to my soulmate. The only person who truly understood my moodiness and my weirdness. You called me your Professional Weirdo, remember? I really hope that you do remember because it is memories like those that I will never forget. No matter what. For days after the accident, all I could think about was joining you. To just end everything to be with you again. But I know you would have hated me if I did that. You would have said our friends had been through enough already."

She would have been right. My friends... our friends, really had been through so much since the day they got the call from the hospital. I'll never forget the moment that when they told me Corianne never made it.

(flashback)
I wake up to smell of hospital disinfectant and the beeping sound that indicated that I was alive. I opened my eyes slowly and tried to get up, but the movement caused me to groan in pain and close my eyes again. The next thing I hear is the sound of someone (whom I later found out to be Oliver) screaming for the doctor and another sound that I can only describe as wailing. I am struck with utter confusion when I see Oliver staring at me bewildered, Matthew looking at me through tear-stained eyes, Luce holding my mother and crying and Mr. and Mrs. Winters standing in the corner. Before I can fully comprehend the scene in front of me, the doctor walks in with two nurses and starts asking me a variety of questions. I answer her as best I can in my hazy state whilst the two nurses poke and prod at me. It is not until he asks me: "What is the last thing you remember William?"
It took me a few seconds before the memories, the glass breaking, the airbags hitting my body, the pain as I crawled out of the car before everything went black, rushed back to me. I couldn't understand anything as my lungs, overtaken by panic, started gasping for air. I started screaming her name and frantically searching the room for her. 

"CORI! CORI! WHERE IS SHE?!"

I felt a cold liquid rush into my veins as the doctor sent a sedative through the intravenous. The nurses restrained my arms and I was out cold moments later.

I woke up again, hours having passed by, but everyone was still there sitting around my hospital bed. Their expressions were solemn and whenever I met one of their eyes, they turned away. My eyes were begging them to tell me if my worst nightmare had come true. No one spoke and I willed myself not to cry until someone... anyone... told me the words. Mrs. Winters slowly made her way to me with tears escaping her eyes, her expression of utter anguish told me enough. I don't know if when I opened my mouth I screamed or if there was complete silence, but Mrs. Winters took my hands in hers, pulling me close and hugged me saying: "I'm sorry William. She is gone".

(end flashback)

I wipe my tears away with the sleeve of my hoodie and take a few deep breaths before continuing. 

"Am I being selfish or stupid? Clinging onto these memories of you. Not wanting to let you go or say goodbye. I won't lie, it kind of feels like both. On one hand, I know that you are in heaven surrounded by angels and endless gardens of white and baby pink lilies. It is ironic that your favourite flower was the flower most commonly associated with death. You always said the you loved lilies because of the innocence that they symbolised. On the other hand, I wish you were still here in this convoluted unfair world that you so despised. You hated that the rich were so rich that they could feed an entire continent but still the poor starved. Yeah, definitely selfish and stupid all in one."

I sucked in a deep breath and whispered, "I wish it had been me".

With those last few words I slowly stood up as it started drizzling. Its honestly as if I live in a romance book where it rains whenever the protagonist is sad. Sounds about right except I could never be the main character in anything. I felt my tears mix with the droplets of rain before I wiped it away and walked back to Luce, shaking my head solemnly. 

"I couldn't do it" was all I said before getting into the car. Luce got in after me and without another word, she started the engine and we were on our way back home. Time went by and before I even realised, she pulled over outside my home. 

"Maybe next time Li. Maybe next time"

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Hello my lovely readers!
I hope you enjoyed this long-awaited chapter. 

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Mwah

~Farry