A Second Chance

Chapter 12

I'm not sure that you know what it feels like to not be good enough. I wasn't good enough for God to take me with Cori. I wasn't good enough for God to let Cori stay here with me. I just wasn't good enough. Sometimes I wonder what I did that was so wrong for me to have to suffer the pain I felt when she left.

I want to say that her death is easier on me than any break up could be. Atleast during a death, I don't have to suffer waiting for the person to reply or trying to be friends. Atleast when it's death, the person just leaves. No questions about why. I was wrong though. Death is not easier. It can't be because the pain I feel when I think about her is unbearable. The worst part is that I try not to think but everytime I close my eyes, there she is, perfect as ever and the suffering just continues.

Not many know what it feels like to not be good enough. You begin feeling worthless, as if you mean invisible to the world. You genuinely beleive that you are nothing and will always be nothing. Imagine being rejected by God himself when you prayed so much to him for the security of your relationship. There isn't a word in any dictionary that describes that emotion. The closest word is SORROW. The wish that things could have been different.

I'm removed from my thoughts when I hear my phone alarm go off. I woke up early thinking I could get a workout and some meditation in before I walk into the fire pit that is my office. I really did not want to go to work today, but I slowly climb out of bed knowing I have to. No time now for relaxation because all my time was consumed by my traitorous mind. 

I freshen up, shower and then change into a grey 3 piece suit with a white vest. I look in the mirror and I was not exactly disappointed with how I looked. If I had been a bit less of an idiot, I may have went as far as saying that I looked good. Really good.

I walk past the kitchen questioning whether to grab something to eat but since my brain loves bad choices, I decide against food. I walk out the apartment and drive straight to the 12 story building that can be described as Hell if my father is around. Retired or not, he still seems to run the place. That is going to change.

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I can feel my head start to throb as I read and sign off on the hoard of  documents that make my desk look like less of a desk and more like a library. Real estate is not an easy job to have. High-end, classified real estate for the people of higher society is ten times worse. One bit of leaked information and you're doomed. I'd say the only good thing is the money because if I hadn't been the son of the founder, I doubt this is where life would have taken me. It has always been my dream to study...

I'm pulled out of my work and train of thought when the door bursts open and... I'll let you guess who walks in. The one, the only, Matthew Alexander Holt. Am I surprised? No. Am I grateful for the intrusion? Maybe. Do I have the urge to kill him though? Most definitely.

"We have a problem! There is a 99.9% chance that I'm going to be dead within the next 24 hours. AND THAT'S BEING GENEROUS"

I won't lie to you when I say that I don't think Matt has ever looked so scared in his entire life. And beleive me, he did not have an easy life. His eyes looked big and he was practically gasping for breath as if he had just run a marathon to get here.

"Okay. Erm deep breaths. Stay calm. What happened?"

I ask him genuinely concerned now. Clearly noticing that this is not a prank by any means.

"Hannah happened! ShekindoftoldherbrotherAsherthatwearedatingandyourememberAsherright?TheoneIplayedaprankonandwhobasicallyhatesmyguts.Imadeadmanwalking"

Matt spoke so fast I barely heard what he was saying but luckily I got the just of it. I must have had a very pessimistic expression on my face about his odds of survival once I had heard Ashers name, because Matt practically threw himself on the couch in my office and then pulled the cushions over him.

"Stop acting like this, Matt. You're fine. He lives in London, that's miles away from here-"

"He called me, Will. He CALLED me. He is coming for me because I'm with his sister. He told me and Hannah can't exactly do much to save me now since she is in Paris."

The panic only rose in his voice as I saw his eyes turn sort of blank while he seemed to flashback to the day of the prank. It wasn't a bad prank but the fact that afterwards I had dated Hannah and then well you know what I did. Basically Asher hates me and therefore Matthew and Oliver by association. I guess you could say that this is all my fault. You wouldn't be the first.

The phone on my desk rings and I go to answer it putting it on loud speaker as I see it's my receptionist calling.

"Mr Louw, I think we may have a problem. Security just called saying that a very large and presumably angry man is making his way up to this floor. The man's description is that he is a caucasian and about 6'4", tanned with tattoos along his right arm... my kind of guy."

She whispers the last part to herself but unfortunately I still heard her. I let it go because we had bigger problems now. Asher was not coming, he was here already and Matt had just heard that too.

I'm about to ask Vivien, my receptionist to get security up here... like now, when the door swings open once again. I'm going to need a new door by the end of the week if this keeps happening.

Before I can really register what is going on, Matt is being hoisted up by a very large man and let's just say... my poor grey suit is going to have a spots of red if things go the way it looks like it may go.

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Well that's another Chapter. Let me know if you liked it in the comments.

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~Farry