Dear Denki (Kirikami)

love & friendship

Kirishima POV

Poor Denki.

It's always the nicest people who end up hurt the most.

Back in my own room, I sulk at my desk. I can't help it. Whenever my friends are upset, I get upset too. Especially when it involves Denki.

He's been my best friend since the day we started at UA together. I remember that first day he strolled into homeroom, taking the seat right in front of me. He turned around, surveyed my face, then broke out into the biggest smile as he complimented my hair. He couldn't have known at the time how much his words comforted me as we hadn't met before.

In middle school, I was a totally different person. I was always unsure of myself, never believing I had what it took to be a hero because my quirk was so boring. But when I was accepted into the hero course at UA, I knew I could do it. So, I took it upon myself to change my image, one that represented the new me. I dyed my hair from black to red and used gel to spike it up. As happy as I was with it, I still had reservations about if it actually looked good or if I just looked stupid.

Then I met Denki.

I honestly don't get it. Denki's the kindest, funniest, and friendliest person I know. How is it so hard for someone like him to find love? It should be the other way around. He should have people fighting over him, desperate to have even a minute of his time. Is everyone at this school stupid or something?

There's got to be something I can do. He's always been there for me, even those times I still lacked confidence about my quirk and my abilities. Now he's the one hurting and I need to do something.

But what? Unfortunately, whether it's right or wrong, Denki relies too much on how others see him when it comes to his self-worth. And for someone like him who wants love so badly, it's almost like he won't believe how great he is until someone else expresses a romantic interest in him.

Maybe...

No, I can't do that. Writing him an anonymous love letter is a terrible idea, right? I won't even know what to put in it. I don't know the first thing about love or crushes. I've never been in a relationship, nor have I wanted to. I'm the opposite of Denki in that regard. I thought I had a crush on Mina back in middle school, but now that I'm older I think I just had a deep admiration for her, but nothing romantic. When it comes to love, I figure I'll know it when I see it. One day I'm going to meet someone and everything will click for me. My heart will tell me this is the one I've been waiting for.

Until then, I'll remain completely inept in the love category.

So I can't possibly write my friend a love letter. It's stupid to even consider it.

And yet, I'm pulling out a pen and sheet of paper, laying them out on my desk.

I have to remember I'm doing this for Denki. I may not understand the concept of romantic love, but I do understand platonic love. And outside of my parents, Denki's the person I love more than anyone else in this world. And when you love someone, you do everything you can to make them happy. 

Once he gets this letter, his spirits will be lifted and everything will return to normal. But if I'm going to do this, I have to do it right.

What do I even write? I can go the cliche approach and compliment his eyes or his smile. Technically, it won't be wrong to mention either. Denki does have really nice eyes. I like that they're the same color as his hair. I had to dye my hair a different color to be able to say that about myself. But Denki's features are permanently golden: his eyes, his hair, and damn, even his smile. It's as if he was crafted by the sun itself. Everything about him is just...warm.

Once the words come to me, I grip my pen differently than how I usually do. I need to disguise my handwriting so he won't know it's from me. It takes a few practice attempts on different sheets of paper, but eventually I land on a handwriting style that's still neat, but distinct. There's no way he'll be able to trace this back to me.

Reading over the letter, I find myself smiling. It's perfect. Knowing Denki as well as I do, this is bound to cheer him up. I can't wait to see his reaction.

Now for the hard part: delivering it without him catching me.

*

At breakfast, Denki is still sad. He's smiling enough that the rest of our friends probably won't notice it's a mask, but it's not fooling me.

I nudge his elbow. "Have the rest of my pudding."

He gives the first genuine smile I've seen on him all morning. "Thanks, man!"

As he scarfs it down, I catch a few quick glances at him. Denki's one of the only people I know who actually blushes when he's happy. His cheeks are now tinted a light pink and his eyes have that sparkle to them that they usually do. My lips curl upward at the sight.

Though as nice as it is to see, it's only temporary.

"Hanta," Mina whines, "can't you give me a hint of what we'll be doing?"

Sero smiles and kisses her cheek. "Sorry, you'll just have to wait until Valentine's Day."

She pouts. "That's so far away!"

"It's only a week, you damn moron," Bakugou says, rolling his eyes.

Sero frowns. "Don't be such a buzzkill, dude."

Bakugou grunts. "I'm just tired of hearing about all this stupid love stuff. Romance is overrated."

I wiggle an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure about that?"

He elbows me in the ribs but I harden my body just in time. It's a good thing I do, because he's definitely using his full strength. Frustrated, Bakugou mumbles some obscenities and goes back to eating his rice.

I giggle to myself. Bakugou can deny it all he wants, but his crush on Todoroki is so obvious it's actually funny. Ever since they had to take supplemental instruction together last year because they originally failed the provisional licensing exam, Bakugou's been coming up with every excuse in the book to be near Todoroki. Usually he'll use hero training as a cover and ask Todoroki to spar with him, but I've seen their fights. Don't get me wrong, they use their quirks, but there's often a lot of wrestling and pinning one another down mixed in there as well. But Bakugou's too stubborn to admit his feelings. In fact, he's so stubborn that he refuses to see that Todoroki feels the same way and will easily agree to go out with him if Bakugou just asks. I like Bakugou, but I don't understand his way of thinking sometimes.

Looking back at Denki, the topic of romance seems to have dampened his mood again. He chews on his bottom lip as he listens to Sero and Mina talk about their upcoming date. It physically pains me to see him like this.

Leaning back a bit, I notice his bag on the floor. It's close enough for me to reach as long as I go undetected. The letter is currently in the front pocket of my bag. As my friends keep talking, I reach down and pull it out, still keeping my head above the table. My eyes glance back to Denki's bag. This may be my only opportunity. So, taking a deep breath, I lean down again and slip the note in his bag. Adjusting myself back in my seat, no one seems to notice my actions. I exhale in relief.

My work here is done. Now I just have to wait for Denki to find it, which can happen at any time. For some reason, my hands are sweating now. Even though the note is signed from anonymous, I feel vulnerable. They're still my words. What if he doesn't like my letter? What if he thinks it's creepy?

I guess it shouldn't matter. The whole point of the note is to show Denki that he's someone worth loving. Whether or not he actually likes the note is unimportant. As long as it helps him to see how great he is.

As long as it helps him to see himself the way that I do.