Woosh-woosh-woosh-woosh-woosh...
Quick little heartbeats. Tiny arms and legs...tiny everything.
I sat infront of my large telly screen for weeks. Unmoving and on loop. Enough so that the rewind button on the remote broke. The only time i got up was to rewind the video.I completely isolated myself from everyone. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. If it was an option I didn't even want to breathe.
I was still bleeding. Quite a lot. Everything was painful. Staying huddled against the wall with my knees against my chest and my duvet around me. I switched my phone off and I kept my window covered so i had no idea what time it was. I didn't care either.I felt empty. Nothing left of me but a husk of once was. Rewinding the video once more I hear a knock on the door. I didn't answer.
"Mistress...it's me. May I come in?"
Cy. I couldn't face her. I couldn't even look at her after what I did to our baby. Falling like that. I should've died with it. Split my head open or something. I know well that she blamed me as much as I blamed myself. I just turned up the volume listening to the fluttering heartbeats. Sinking deeper and deeper into my mournful guilt. I hate myself every second I realize they're gone.
My door creaked open and shut as I then see glowing yellow eyes in the dark.
I felt as she sat next to me. Watching the screen with me.I know she blames me. I know she hates me. I know she wants to kill me as much as I want to kill myself.
"I don't blame you. I hope you realize that Mistress. Not for a moment."Hearing those words made me hurt more. Knowing well that she was lying to me. I curled up more and began to sniffle. Although i had no more tears left to cry. I was gone. I was broken.
I felt her move closer to me. Placing her hand in mine she gave me a gentle squeeze.
"I have a surprise for you. I hope you like it. I really do. And know that what happened was an accident."She mentioned softly as she then lets go, placing something loose around my neck. Was...that a necklace. Why? Why the Hell would she give me this? After what I've been through. Why.
I pulled away before she could tie it.
"I don't want it."
I stated softly, moving away from her."Mistress. Hear me out I-"
"NO!"
I snapped at her in a broken tone.
"I won't hear you out! Max is gone! I have nothing because...BECAUSE! NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF YEW WOULD'VE JUST BEEN THERE!"
I shouted at her more.
"You should've been there! Yew could've saved our baby's life! Y-YEW PROMISED! YEW PROMISED AND YEW LIED SO- SO JUST GET OUT! I don't want anyfhing from yew anymore..."I slumped down as she slinked away out of my room. Leaving the box there.
Many repeated videos I managed to flick on my lamp. There sat a box with the words In loving memory. Upon opening it was the necklace. Emerald. And on it had a name engraved in silver. Max.
Taking the necklace I place it around my neck.I felt bad for shouting at her like that. I just wish things were different. I finally stretched feeling every achy muscle and bone crack and pop. Leaving the video running I softly step out of my room. It was bright. Way too bright. It took me ages for my eye to adjust but afterwards I made my way to the living room. There, Cy was chatting with Noodle about something rather quietly. Walking besides them I held my breath hesitant about what to say to ether of them.
"Thank you..."
I made out softly as I played with the gem necklace.
"It's...beautiful."Both girls stayed silent as they hugged me. I couldn't help but break down again.
YOU ARE READING
Gorillaz and Me (Pt.5)
FanfictionI'm back with the band again and all is good...I guess...well, it could be worse at least im not dead. It sure does feel like it though.