His Forbidden Obsession

Chapter 48: Happier Without Her?

Roy Ezekiel

"Is this the office of Castro's Private--"

"Name?" Putol sa akin noong boses ng secretary.

Napapikit ako sandali at napatiim bagang.

Kahit na alam ko na ang susunod nilang sasabihin ay hindi ko pa rin binaba ang tawag. I just anxiously sit on the couch with my phone pressed against my ear.

"Roy Ez--"

"Sorry, we don't offer services at this time." And then the line went dead.

Sa nagdaang mga araw ay puro iyon lamang ang naririnig kong sagot mula sa lahat ng Private Investigators sa buong pilipinas. The Del Russo Family banned me from every service available. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang bigat na aking naramdaman habang nakaupo ako sa couch noong araw na iyon. It felt like it was the end of the world because not only she left me but also because of the possibility that I might not see her again. I can clearly remember how heavy the dread was.

Subalit walang maihahambing sa takot, bigat, at sakit na aking naramdaman noong huling araw na nagtungo ako sa GSMH. It was the day that I found out that she left the hospital, too. Hindi pa rin ako naniwala kaya tumakbo ako sa locker room. I searched for her whitecoat, her stethoscope but it was already cleaned up. Wala akong ibang nagawa kung hindi ang mapaupo sa sahig at mapaiyak.

That was the last day that I was ever in that hospital because I couldn't bring myself to perform a surgery or even function knowing that Vlanca left me. My career suddenly meant nothing without her. And so, I left my resignation letter. But before I walked out of the building, I received two middle fingers from Dakota and Liv.

I didn't even say or do anything since I deserved it. I have been an åsshøle to their friend. Hindi ko siya pinahalagahan at nasaktan ko siya nang sobra-sobra.

I went home that day and started calling all the P.I's here in the Philippines, but as I've said, I was banned.

Pwede naman akong maghanap ng international P.I, pero siguradong naisip na ng pamilya niya na magre-reach out ako sa mga iyon, kaya most definitely ay banned na din ako doon.

But I still could try...and then, let's say I find her......and then what?

What should I do? What should I say? What do I have to offer?

Nothing.

I was so eager to find her...that I didn't think of what I would do if I saw her...if I even deserve her at this point.

As I was laying on the floor of our bedroom, with tear stains on my cheeks and with sleep deprivation, I realized that I cannot just go half sleep and then wake up in the middle of the night to cry again, while hugging her pillow. And then, I'd sob and apologize to the wind.

I can't just be sorry and be a loser forever. Time is ticking, I have to figure myself out, and face what led to her leaving me and what hurted her to begin with.

"Sir, ano pong sa inyo?" Tanong ng lalaking waiter sa akin. Kasalukuyan akong narito sa Jesse's at naka-pwesto sa tabi ng glass wall.

"Black coffee, no sugar." Sagot ko.

Tumango naman siya bago siya tumalikod.

Napalunok ako bago sumandal. I am still wearing my sunglasses, even indoors. I have been inside my dark penthouse for over a month and I am not used to brightness anymore. And even though I stepped out, I still look like shît. Eyebags, grown out hair, beard, I haven't even showered yet, because I can't wash the place where Vlanca last touched me.