MADMAN'S ARMS

1

Thursday, July 18th

During my internship at Wimbledon Mental Institution, my supervisor, Ruth, once taught me something. She told me that if I ever wanted to get to understand the people we treated, I should begin to imagine myself inside those patients' brains. Of course, her words were challenging but they've been with me ever since the day she taught me.

"To treat the lunatic, you need to become the lunatic"

At first, Ruth's words scared me a bit, because the thought of me trying to get into a mentally ill person's brain felt too intimate and realistic. But sooner I realized, that even if it would be almost impossible to do what she told me, it made sense.

I had learned before in psychology class and by experience, that if you want to understand a person better, you have to see through that person's perspective. That was one thing that really helped me to get over my mother's death.

I didn't know if I was ready for this, soon my life would truly begin. I would have a job that I loved and fought hard for and hopefully a stable salary.

The time was finally here for me after five long years, and it just felt too realistic. But of course, deep inside, I was ready for it now. I already sent in a dozen applications to different mental institutions around London, and the only thing I waited for was a call...

Me and my friend, Dolores, sat in my living room while drinking our afternoon coffee. Dolores was always fascinated by my choice of profession, the thought of treating a mentally ill person frightened her. But still, during my internship, she was so curious and always asked me about how it was, working at a mental institute. The subject would always come up when we hung out, which was at least three days a week.

Dolores took a sip from the big cup embraced by her hands. Her beautiful brown hair hung perfectly over her shoulders and her dark eyelashes flicked as she swallowed the black caffeine. I was always jealous of her beauty, her naturally blushed cheeks, her bright cornflower eyes, and her short, curvy figure in the shape of an hourglass.

Being blonde myself, with pale white skin contrasting my brown eyes, and 5'8 feet tall with a slim figure, I soon realized I was the opposite of Dolores and her features.

The brain is complicated, and it's a fact that we naturally want or envy things that we can't have. No one knows why, but it is scientifically proven. Meaning, if I would have had Dolores's features, and she had mine, I would probably still be jealous of her looks, because that would be opposite to me.

In the middle of an uninteresting conversation, the telephone suddenly started ringing loudly and both me and Dolores nearly jumped off the couch in reaction. My eyes got wide open and I looked at my friend with a frightened expression wondering who would appear on the other side of the line.

My heart was hammering so fast inside my chest. I knew it could be my future calling, I just wasn't prepared enough for it.

I tipped over the living room floor to pick up the telephone standing in the hallway of my small apartment. Picking up the heavy handset, I placed it against my ear. I tried my best to settle not to sound too nervous, this was the time to show that I was a confident and professional woman. I swallowed hard as I opened my mouth to answer.

"Beverly Frazier,"

"Hello, Ms. Frazier, my name is Dorothy Schwartz and I am the head nurse at St: Nicolai Psychiatric Hospital. I read through your application and I was satisfied by your high grades and earlier experiences at Wimbledon. If you would agree, I would like to meet you over an interview to talk more and to ask some further questions?"

My heart almost pounded out of my ribcage by the sudden excitement and I smiled brightly for myself as I listened to the lady's words over the phone. I couldn't believe they called from St: Nicolai, they were one of the biggest institutions in England and I knew they had a lot of dangerous and aggressive internees in their wards. Criminally insane people who committed the worst kind of brutal crimes.

As far as I was aware, they only employed people with many years of experience, but I guess I was wrong since Dorothy Schwartz just decided to call a newly graduated nurse to ask for an interview. The nervosity was slowly killing me but I managed to keep myself stable enough to answer.

"Hello, Ms. Schwartz. I would very much like to meet with you for an interview. I am available whenever you wish," I replied formally.

"I'm glad to hear. I am available tomorrow after lunch, at 12 pm if that would work out for you?"
The lady on the other line was friendly, but her voice was determined and she kept her words short and strict. It was not a very surprising impression of a head nurse from an asylum.

"That sounds great!"

"Very well then, I will see you tomorrow at 12 pm,"

"Thank you so much, Ms. Schwartz. Good day to you,"

She was the first to end the call and the second I placed my telephone back on the table, I began to move out of thrill.  I couldn't believe I already got an interview, I just sent out the applications the other day.

I walked back to the living room where Dolores was still seated with her eyes now bigger than I had ever seen them before. She waited patiently for me to say something, but I could tell in her extremely predictable expression and big blue eyes that the excitement was about to take over her.

"So, who was it, Beverly?" She almost shouted the words, and I laughed at her for being so eager before I responded.

"Well... Head nurse Dorothy Schwartz, called from St: Nicolai Psychiatric Hospital and she asked for an interview," I broke out of excitement in my fake seriousness and I began to laugh again. Dolores looked at me with overwrought and the biggest smile formed her red-painted lips.

"Oh, darling, that's just great!" She clapped her hands in reaction before she met me in a fond, embracing hug. Her warmth made my heartbeat slightly calmer and I tried to simmer down from the heavy nervousness.

"Just be yourself and they're going to fall for you within a second," She looked into my eyes while speaking to me, still with the biggest smile covering her face. She was the best person I knew. Seeing her be so happy for me certainly confirmed how good of a friend she was.

As the exciting situation settled into normality, I realized the previous couple of minutes were truly real, this was truly happening to me. This might be the start of my career. The only thing left now was to make a good impression on Ms. Schwartz tomorrow, and hopefully, she would give me the job.