MADMAN'S ARMS

47

"Do you want to go back outside?" I asked Brandon, noticing our long absence from the assembly. Even if he didn't want to go back, I knew that I had to. It was my job to supervise and even if I was allowed to leave to take care of my patients, I didn't want my absence to stand out.

"Yeah, I'll come with you," Replied Brandon as he started rising from his bed. I smiled at him, showing that I was proud of him for wanting to get out again.

I didn't want him to isolate himself from the surrounding world, even though it was isolating from him. He needed a living entourage to be able to catch a break from his messy head, and all that was going on inside.

"Can I have another cigarette first?" He grinned as he asked. I rolled my eyes, looked at his humiliating and rude face begging for more nicotine.

I shouldn't let him smoke, but nobody would know about it and I already allowed him to do it earlier. I carefully picked up the white and red-coloured package and grabbed one of the toxic paper rolls with my fingers.

Taking a few steps closer to Brandon, I moved my hand towards his mouth to place the cigarette between his perfect, dark pink lips.

"If you tell anyone about this, I'm dead," I uttered as I pressed the lighter and carefully placed the small flame under the cigarette to make it glow.

Brandon looked pleased as he kept the grin on his face while deeply inhaling the smoke from the fag held between his gnarly fingers.

After letting the cloud of smoke leave his lungs, he leaned his head forward to softly place a kiss on my forehead.

"Who would I tell?" He responded, making me feel dumb, and once again I rolled my eyes. He was right. He didn't have anyone to tell.

I turned my back at him without further answers and opened the heavy door to leave the room.

Brandon stood still in his place with the cigarette stuck in between his lips, looking more cheeky and defiant than ever.

"I'll see you out there," I finally said before taking one last look at him, and then closed the door behind me. Even if it wasn't a secret that I was in there with him, it felt good that we kept it low and didn't leave the room at the same time. I was still paranoid about making someone suspicious although it was the most natural thing being around one of my patients.

Entering the assembly again, I didn't get much attention from anyone which helped a lot to calm my worrying nerves.

I walked over the big, high ceiled room and finally sat down next to Janet and Mildred who were peacefully sitting in one of the couches in the mid-area of the room.

"Where did you go?" Asked Janet.

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and forthwith I realized I had to come up with a lie.

"I was with Brandon, he needed a meeting. He got too overwhelmed by the surroundings" I explained, happy about the way I managed to come up with a trustworthy reason for my earlier absence so fast.

"Did something happen?" She asked further, and I smiled gently and shook my head in confidence.

"No, thankfully. I got him in control before it burst for him," I responded.

I hated being a liar, but I didn't have much of a choice since the truth was the deepest secret I had ever carried inside of me.

"I'm glad to hear that, Beverly," She lastly said and formed a smile with her glossed, plump lips, making me smile back at her with assurance.

The room was still noisy from the patients' talking, singing, and strange unexplainable grunts and sounds. Some days it could really get me a bad headache, but after my break from the loud noises, and my wonderful, soul-healing intercourse with Brandon, I could now manage to stand the chaotic and messy surroundings without disturbance.

"Do you see who's sitting over there?" Janet spoke again to break the silence between the three of us and I looked in the direction where she slightly nodded her head and the first thing I spotted was Harriet.

Her beautifully thick and dark eyebrows made her recognizable from any distance. But in front of her, a man was seated. All I could see was his bald head and broad shoulders, but I realized that he must have been the one Janet just referred to.

"Is that Joseph Acker?" I asked to make sure what I assumed was right. Janet nodded her head while she still looked over the room to inspect the psychotic killer who was sitting completely still.

"Yes, and he is cuffed. Not even Brandon wears cuffs in here, right?" She inquired using a low voice. I could still hear her curiosity very clearly even though she spoke so quietly.

I started wondering why the man was forced to be cuffed in here. Usually, this was an all free area for the behaving patients, and they were always monitored and supervised both by the guardsmen and the nurses, so handcuffs were rarely useful. Yet there was not often the most insane and aggressive inmates were let out in the common room at the same time as the other patients, due to the high risk of violence and outrage, but I guessed this was an exception.

"No... no he doesn't," I answered Janet's stated question about Brandon ever being in handcuffs here.

What made this old man more dangerous than Brandon? I knew he was a convicted murderer, but so was Brandon, and as far as I knew, he was the one everyone was terrified of inside this hospital.

I looked over the room again to watch the man sit by himself peacefully in the corner, with Harriet seated in front of him from a short distance, and a guard tightly beside him.

I could only see his back, but he was sitting completely still, which made me feel uncomfortable. It was like he was frozen, like he waited for something to explode, like he prepared himself to outrageously act out any second.

I couldn't explain it, but the way he sat so sedately steady made him appear even more parlous and terrifying. He even reminded me of how I felt around Brandon in the very beginning. When he could turn my world upside down and make me feel humiliated, uncomfortable and submissive only by looking at me, like his evil was brought from his eyes and transferred into my innocent soul...

"I really wonder how it suddenly just snaps for someone, and they emergently get capable of doing such rough things out of nowhere? I wonder if we will ever understand, no matter how many psychopaths we will meet and take in our care?" Janet was almost whispering by now which was understandable. It was never acceptable to talk about patients in a public place, and at least not in front of other inmates.

"I don't think we ever will, Janet," I said as I sighed out of concern. What I said was true, but I also knew that in a very short amount of time, I had learned to understand and even find sympathy for a psychopath, which actually wasn't as challenging as I first believed it to be.

"I guess so. Maybe that is something we should be thankful for," Janet answered, with beautiful big eyes filled with thoughts.

"Yes, probably,"