MADMAN'S ARMS

29

In the roughly affective grip of the beautiful man I was completely hypnotized by, I finally managed to settle myself and my feral hormones.

"Brandon, we can't do this," I cautioned as I took a small step back from him. His eyes turned darker, but he remained calm.

I closed my eyes of disappointment and exhaled loudly to ease the frustration. The outspoken words hurt my feelings, because the only thing I truly wanted while standing here, was to feel my lips getting pressed against his. Just one more time.

No other person could actually see us in here, not even hear us, but the thought about how strictly wrong it was even to think about Brandon the way I did, brought me the heaviest feeling of anxiety and guilt.

By my conclusion, I wasn't sure anymore which one of us was the manipulative one. Was it him, the claimed psychopath, the murderer with the seductive gaze and  obsessive vulnerability, or was it me, the educated nurse who knew exactly how to slowly screw myself inside a person's brain, psychopath or not?

Subconsciously, maybe I was the one deciding which way he felt around me, because I knew how to handle him like no one else.

I didn't know, but either way, I already made a very big professional mistake by kissing a patient at all.

Brandon was without question the one initiating the kiss, but I didn't as much as even graze the hesitation myself of responding with my own lips as he reached for me, and that fact made the whole situation a lot worse.

"When will you be back again?" He calmly inquired. I was surprised with the way Brandon handled my denial. He was a sensitive man and any kind of turn against him could make him go mad, but right now he was unexpectedly composed.

"I'll bring you some drugs for the pain right after I visit the pharmacy. Then I will be back again tomorrow," I smiled at Brandon, showing him my kindness and care.

I needed him to put his trust in me and believe that I would come back to him. For me it was important to earn his trust since I didn't want to risk him hurting himself again because of me. Also I needed him to understand that this time, I had no reason at all to leave him.

"Good. You know I can't be without you for too long,"

I swallowed hard as I listened to his flattering whisper. He didn't really make it easier for me to stay away from my forbidden feelings.

"I know," I turned my back at him again, and finally left the room with Brandon still on the inside. A deep breath of relief left my lungs as soon as I reached the hallway, and all stuck up in my imaginations, I began to walk my way to the pharmacy area.

While proceeding past the long, white and silent corridors, I suddenly caught my attention on a person I had not seen before.

Normally dressed in a checkered shirt and loose brown trousers, the old, bold and beardy man in handcuffs slowly trudged beside a guard with Harriet pacing forward right in front of them.

The man looked empty in his expression, and he didn't do anything to resist the guard's grip around his right arm.

It brought me to shudder, watching the brute heavily ambling across the floor, keeping every emotion to himself yet while looking so explosive.

The stout wight of man was ugly, and wore evil all over his pale face. I looked at Harriet who gave me a gentle smile as I walked past the three of them. The bold man must be another new inmate, I thought.

After getting what I needed by the help of Nancy, the red-haired pharmacist, I began to walk my way back to Ward 5. Just like so many times before, my heart bounced on the inside of my chest as I carried the pills in my hands. It was tempting and challenging every time, but once again, I knew so much better...

Even if I couldn't figure out how, I knew I had to ask Brandon about what happened to him and for what reason he ended up being forced into the hot tub. He told me so much this day already, and I could read in the look on his face that he was exhausted, not only from the strenuous subject, but also from the flaring pain scattering his skin.

I figured maybe there was someone else I could ask. I knew Nurse Browne was the one responsible for his treatment while I was absent, so I could try and ask her for more information. Otherwise, I could come up with a reason to visit Dorothy and ask her if anything occurred that was necessary for me to know, because as much as I needed the information, I deserved it as well. Brandon was my patient, and as his treater I had the right to know all about his progress of therapy.

Carefully, I opened the door to Brandon's cell and stepped inside. Once again I asked the guard to wait in the hall while I was inside, since by now I was not really in need of having him with us at all.

I handed over the pills to Brandon along with a glass of water, and he swallowed them in a quick head back. Once more I was relieved that I managed to carry the many pills down the hospital corridors on my own without getting any bad ideas.

"Try to get some rest, Brandon. Your skin has to heal and you're exhausted. I'll see you tomorrow morning," Brandon looked at me with an empty face and kept quiet for a couple of seconds.

"Beverly, can I ask you for a favor?" He spoke out and broke the silence again. No matter how much I wanted to do whatever he was about to beg of me, I didn't have a lot of power in my position of work.

Nodding my head, I awaited him to continue his request.

"I haven't got one single fucking breath of fresh air since I got here. That's the only thing I want, to get outside, just for a minute if that's what it takes. Please, Beverly. Otherwise I'll go fucking insane," I got a bit surprised by Brandon's desperate question of favor, but it was true what he said, even if he was already insane.

The patients in Ward 5 were not often let out, only exceptions could be made if they behaved in abnormally great ways, which Brandon really hadn't since he got here.

I took a deep breath while realizing there was probably not much I could do to get him out in the hospital garden, but of course, it was worth a try.

Every patient deserved to get some fresh air every now and then, especially since the sunlight was something very healthy both for the physical and the mental health.

"I can't promise anything, but I'll do my best to get you out in the garden. I'll speak with Ms. Schwartz," I encouraged as I looked at him with a friendly smile, hoping that he would understand that I was not the one in charge of decisions like that.

Brandon nodded his head and I could see how he was nearly smiling himself now as the dimples drilled his cheeks discretely.

"Thank you,"