✔︎ dystychiphobia | sunsungki

I hate "to be or not"

It was fairly visible. The guilt, the panic and the embarrassment could be seen in his eyes. What had he become ? For almost 2 years they had latched onto Sunoo. Ni-Ki didn't know what he was doing at this point. Sunghoon was sleeping with Sunoo in his room and the boy was wide awake.

Ni-Ki felt burdened. His eyes were dull but tears were flowing out. Did Sunghoon lie to him ? Deceive him ? No. He lied to himself. He told himself that this was okay. It was okay to be bad but bad people don't deserve forgiveness, he thought. Especially from the people he did wrong to.

The phone rang. The boy hesitated to answer it. It was an unknown number. The moment he answered, a loud shout could be heard from the other side.

"WHOEVER YOU ARE, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LOVER ?! WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU HAVE WITH YANG JUNGWON ?!"

"Wait- Please calm down, I don't get what you're saying-"

"YANG JUNGWON IS DEAD !-"

Ni-Ki unconsciously ended the call. He was breathing heavily. How did Jungwon die ? His eyes were wide open. The male ran out of his room and opened Sunghoon's door with tears streaming down his tears, still in shock. Sunghoon quickly got up after tucking Sunoo under the covers and made sure to lock the door with the key hung on the door knob. Sunghoon pulled Ni-Ki into the latter's room and sat him down.

"Look I know you're angry but-"

Ni-ki shook his head as he gripped onto Sunghoon harder and tighter. "He's dead. We killed him. How did he die ? Why did he die ? We're gonna be in trouble. I don't want to go to prison-" Sunghoon hugged the shaking boy where to him was spurting out nonsense. "What are you talking about-"

"Someone called m-me... yelling at me that his lover- Jungwon died."

He broke down in tears as Sunghoon smiled. He thought it was something serious. It wasn't a big deal to him. "So what if he died, Ni-Ki ? He doesn't have anything to do with us. Don't worry, the person who called you wouldn't dare to call the police. That person's a coward. Don't worry. You're safe."

Don't worry.

You're safe.

Those words repeated in Ni-Ki's head. His breathing slowed down as Sunghoon held the cloth against his mouth. The male chuckled darkly. He was tired though. How long was he going to do this either way? Sunghoon was having too much fun now. He was tired. His giggling stopped. He laid Ni-Ki down in his own bed before leaving the room and going back to Sunoo.

The wounded boy was sitting on the bed, knees pulled close to his chest as small cries could be heard. Sunghoon closed and locked the door behind him and carefully spooned Sunoo in his arms. "Hey hey, did you have a nightmare ?" Sunoo nodded and clung onto Sunghoon. He desperately wanted comfort.

Sunoo wasn't all too terrified of Sunghoon anymore. They were right. As long as he just does what they say, things get better and he gets treated with more care than before. His mind was blank these days, nothing much really going through his head. Not even Jungwon. It was no longer registered in his head.

"Now go back to sleep little one, I'll be here."

.

Jay sat in front of Jungwon's grave. He had a bad feeling about leaving Jungwon. The least he could do was visit him and apologize, they decided to stay friends after all but to speak the truth. Neither of them moved on from the relationship. Jay was broken. His lover died. He was an asshole. All Jungwon wanted was to find his best friend who had done so much for him.

Thinking back now, what if someone you relied on all the time suddenly just went missing and the last thing he said was he was with someone else. Then, he's gone for almost two years. No calls, no shit, no nothing. Jay finally felt what Jungwon had when they broke up. "Hey, just know that you're always welcomed to our house. Your family, remember ?"

Jungwon's older sister came behind Jay, patting his back slightly and smiled. Her face showed pain and sadness. Her younger brother had passed away and she regretted not spending more time with him. "Thank you." Jay said and sparked up a small smile after wiping his tears.

Right, Jungwon never told his family that their relationship ended. He never told anyone. He had nobody to tell. Jay stood up and left the flowers in the vase before bowing. "I'll come back tomorrow okay ?" The male walked away and pulled his phone out before calling a certain someone.

/hey babe-/

"Hey Jake..."

/is everything alright ? Come home okay ? I cooked your favourite for dinner to cheer you up. I understand Jay, take your time. I know you loved him./

"I've b-been thinking about us... do you think w-we should b-bre-"

/Jay please come home first. I don't think breaking over the phone is something you want to do before listening to what I have to say. Jungwon had told me to not lt you go./

"What ?"

The male was confused.

"J-Jungwon knows you ?!"

Jay was shocked. More tears fell down. He could hear Jake crying.

/He was a nice guy Jay. He was really kind and came over to talk to me. H-He told me to never let you go and always take care of you even when you miss him. He t-told me to not be angry with you if you keep talking about h-him. Jay-ah he was really a nice guy. I-I don't know how t-to react but I gave him a hug. He l-looked so broken./

Jake started crying and wiping his tears after remembering that heartbreaking scene. Jay broke down crying again.

/Come home Jay, please. I-I promised Jungwon- PLEASE JAY !/

Jake was on their apartment floor, crying out loud and worried after Jay was quiet.

"I'll come home a-after I say goodbye to Jungwon's f-family. I p-promise."

/love you. Stay safe and come back okay ? W-we can still talk things out/

"Love y-you too"

The call ended as Jay walked indoors after being drenched in the rain for almost 10 minutes now. Everything's a mess right now. Everyone is confused. Everyone is hurt. Everyone is hating something.

a/n : im back for some shits to happen.