Revive (Book Two)

Chapter Fourteen: Grace

Chapter Fourteen: Grace

Just by the realization that I've breathed out of my mouth in large breaths four times now, the beginning has already started. My heart palpitated, throwing off my rhythm as my heart spasmed with hate. I felt as though I was about to have a heart attack. Sweat instantly clammed the palms of my hands as I attempted to remain calm. I had to stay calm. Heat throughout my body rose and I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. My feet were tingling and I couldn't stop bouncing my leg up and down as an attempt to pardon my torture. I felt a need to escape, but how could one escape their own body? Any form of noise was drowned out, muffled and replaced by the beating in my ears. My hands were jittering, while my eyes blurred, my vision completely disfigured and gone. Here comes the rollercoaster.

I was dying.

Her smile brought me back to reality.

I offered a smile back, but I couldn't meet her with the same authenticity she was giving me.

She had been spending a lot of time here lately - not that I minded. I liked having her company. I missed her a lot when she wasn't around - The odd time she went home or whenever she visited Lacey. Her presence though, internally was absolutely killing me.

Things were a lot different, and I didn't like the change. I couldn't touch her how I used to, or call her names, or tease her in a way that would cross the line. Part of me wanted to tell her that she needed to go home, or find safety elsewhere, or at least stop laughing so my stomach could stop doing flips and yearning for her.

It didn't help that I had to do this sober. It was making me nauseas and constantly freezing.

Howl reminded me of something I was losing memory of. I had a tendency to push people away. All I wanted was to push her away, only to grab her, pull her back and never let go. Or disappear so I didn't have to look at her gorgeous face and be reminded of how fucking stupid I was.

The conflict was irritating.

"Eli," Her voice sang. "Where'd you go?"

I met her eyes. "I got you something," I murmured.

She made a face. "You did?"

I tilted my head to the side. "Come," I said quietly and walked to the dining room table I set up, and never used before.

She tiptoed beside me with large curious eyes, then stopped walking when I did, standing very close to me. Too close for it to be safe.

I stepped forward and took off the small drop sheet and revealed twenty jars of unopened paint along with fresh brushes. Beside that was three canvases that could fit on the table, and two that was practically the size of her. Paint supplies were a lot more expensive than I thought they were. I even picked up some weird after glaze shit as if I knew what I was doing.

She gasped, her face turning to me. "You didn't," She said in disbelief.

I ran my hand through my hair. "You haven't done this in a while, and I think you need to bring some normalsy back into your life," I said.

"You noticed that?" Her eyebrows furrowed. It was as if she'd forgotten.

I nodded. "It's what you love to do, Aria."

"Yes but-"

"-You can keep them here-" I interrupted. "-Or you can take them home. The choice is yours, but I want you to try whenever the inspiration comes back and don't stop. You need to keep this in your life, okay?" I suppressed the urge to tuck a strand of hair away from her face.

She nodded, her eyes faltering back towards the paints. "Okay," She agreed. "Thank you, Eli. I didn't think..."

I gave a smile. "Of course," I finished for her. I cared so much for her, it hurt.