Before I say Goodbye

Not blind

You think I am blind.
But I am not.
I see everything.
The times you shove me away.
The times you neglect me for someone eles.
You think I don't know?
The late night missed calls.
The way you smile at her, avoiding my gaze.
I smile away but I do get hurt inside.
You fake your apologies
just to get away with your old habits.
You whisper your sweet lies
Your venomous kiss
Your sly as a fox 🦊
Crying tears of a crocodile 🐊
Tearing down any innocence I had left
Hurting any heart I have left
Broken and cracked.
Bruised & burned.
Her perfume smell on your shirt,
Her lipstick mark on your neck.
Those lingering eyes of yours on her lap.
Your hands sliding her bare back.
Your tacky gifts that you gave me
Same once you gave her
I was angry
I was hurt
Seeing how easy it was for you to replace or forget me.
I was numb
I was in denial
To have forgiven you.
To never think of my happiness.
I am sorry though,
For choosing you instead of myself
I am sorry for thinking I deserve any less.
When I can do far better than what you promised.
Beyond your fake love
Hollow promises
Facade of smiles
& dead heart.