Don't worry... "I'm okay"

How we stared.

                                                                                      chapter 1

Hi there. I'm Phiwa believe it or not I'm 15 and I wrote a book yeah that's pretty impressive if I can say I'm going to tell you about myself and how I'm still alive. Scary right? now you want to know what could've killed me but don't worry let's read together and understand each other. Who knows I might throw in some advice.

Let's start with I was born on the 2nd of May at exactly 1 am, and I had the prettiest mother (let's not argue) but right there you would think I had a wonderful life but a year later when my mother was going to get married to my father, unfortunately she passed on the 27th of January so I was pretty young when she had gone. Want to know how she died, well car accident thanks to a speeder and what's so amazing about her death she died doing what she loved the most, HELPING.

She was helping 3 people who unfortunately got into a car accident as well there was pregnant lady and 2 older men one possibly her husband or boyfriend but she pulled my father over took her own clothes and dressed the woman (be aware my mother didn't know this woman) but she cleaned her up and was ready to take her to the hospital but unfortunately the speeder came before she could and killed her, and I eventually found out years later,

which broke me and made me feel so empty like I'm missing in my own heart, and it took me 8 years to move on from that great pain but that void that I had been filled by so many people who showed me that loss doesn't define you it makes you stronger and more educated from the experience. If you have lost someone you loved and cared for deeply, cry that they have gone, but don't let it sit with you for eternity that will hold you back in so many ways that you will feel trapped in a corner that you cannot escape and that only leads to depression emptiness and antisociality.

Take that lose and experience it and make it part of you but not to define you. (Read that again) take that lose and make it your strength and let it tell you, in fact let me tell you that death is part of us, it's part of our humanity cycle; were born – we grow- we discover-we learn- we get hurt – we learn – and we die, with our own knowledge and perspective of how life is, not all people have such steady intellective mind set, many are afraid to grow, afraid to learn,

afraid to get hurt, afraid to die and acknowledging that is hard, but no one said life was built on an easy, steady road, no your life will be determined by how YOU start it, how you live it by how YOU understand it. Life is like a walk; walks are unexpected you never know what will happen when you walking right? You never know if you will trip and fall or even if you will get lost, the reason I used walking as an example because if you trip and fall guess what?

You could have stopped that by simply watching where you're going, if you get lost you could've navigated where you wanted to go and stop or do what kids my age do call an uber. What I'm trying to say is life has unexpected things to come your way, to guarantee that you really know where you're going with your life and to know your true purpose. I've had so many unexpected things come my way and I've managed to conquer them by staying focused and simply watching where I'm going.

so I have told you where I started and how I let my mother's death define me and how I was too late to discover that her death is not who I am, but her being gone didn't stop me from learning how to walk, talk, ride a bike, eat my first solid food, no I was able to do that on my own and I'm not saying her lose lead me to be mentally and physically mature independently, no her lose gave me a motivation to do that for the both us because I believed that her presents and spirit was with me. What I can advise a parent in a teenage perspective don't try and guide us try and support us, instead of making yourselves unapproachable and big and scary be a friend but still be a parent, because if you don't do that,

it will drive your children away from you and seek for a better person to speak to and which leads us to wanting to do irregular secretive behaviour like; smoking ( to deal with stress) drinking ( to escape realty and to feel happy) sex ( to have that emotional connection with someone) which all adults disagree with, but believe me or not you're the course to it, if you showed love and not fear, if you show that you were human and you were young before, then you can connect with your child in a way that you have always wanted to if you showed remorse and empathy and actual emotions you teach us that even though

I have gone through what I did I can survive through it like mom or dad or both but your child won't need to see those things only if you have started that way the day you laid your eyes on your baby and vowed to protect us that same emotion can show that you still love us the way you did when we were born. It seems like I'm telling you how to raise your own child but please don't get me wrong I'm not I'm giving you a piece of what some teenagers seek from their parents.