Don't worry... "I'm okay"

Improvement

Chapter 8

Being able to improve myself from my past life was truly rewarding. I turned from being such a destruction of a child with senseless, one minded heart and mind, that I looked at everything with pain and sorrow to the point of wanting to kill myself because dealing with that pain alone was so hard to live with, when I would scream for help and no one would notice or seem to care to help to the point where I stopped wanting help. A wise person told me that "communication is key" I agreed because I knew talking about my sorrow would help me heal but after so long of being quiet talking was like asking someone to murder a body for me, which is complicated ask so I thought if I used my pain to help others it would heal me but it only gave me more stress, with trying to help people overcome that pain they have been keeping in them, and most were so depressing by how they were able to withhold such pain and I thought to myself that I have to forget and not forgive I thought that was the best decision for myself but it only made me angry and have problems with myself and little situations around me which lead me to violence which didn't work out for me because I kept on getting in trouble so I had to stop.

Later as time goes I ended up giving up in life and I had been watching 13 reasons why and once I gave up I decided to pull a Hannah baker ( When Hannah gave life one more try by talking to Mr Potter) so I spoke to my social science teacher because I didn't know our concealer her name was Ms madhanlal to my luck she spotted that I had a problem and she supported me advised me and helped me through it and till this day she still does but we always kept it professional teacher and learner, if she didn't notice or gave me enough advise that made me change my mind this book would not exist nor myself

Depression made me a different person it changed my perspective, maturity, my personality it helped me find bits of my true self and to find the right people who will be able to really motivate me to being better. I didn't think I would be the same anymore I'll always be afraid and feel small, and be a weak child, but I became stronger I'm still scared but I'm still working on that day by day, I still feel small and non-important but like I said I'm working on myself and improving myself to what I want, not to what others want never depend on someone, independency is key to success a wise person told me that if you have a goal of wanting to succeed you must first be able to be independent he truly was right because if you want to succeed you need to be able to help yourself out in situations where you can only help yourself.

I always thought to succeed you needed a man or your parents to be able to that, but after the best talk and advise from my principal I realised that I don't need that, all I need is myself. Depression was a hard thing to deal with but succeeded because I had support from my SS teacher, my best friend and the mind set of that I can do it. you can defeat depression if you find the right people who will support you and you are able to support yourself as well because you can do whatever you want unless you put your mind to it.

I learnt to respect myself way more than how I did before, I learnt the right way to build my self-esteem and my self-image and be able to love myself more than how I didn't and be able to protect myself from the pain that I just let come and control me and made me sad and depressed, being able to have that self-respect is truly important because you need to respect yourself before your able to respect others love yourself so that your able to connect with others