Don't worry... "I'm okay"

Happiness

Chapter 4

I hate happiness. It's so complicated and once you experience happiness you will soon be addicted to it. and even if your hurt you have a smile on happiness is scary but it's painful I haven't felt true happiness in 15 years even if I can try surround myself with people who care about me, I would laugh but I know deeply I'm hurt and I need help and I want to cry out but scared to scare off people and most of the time when I seek for help people don't pay attention and just walk away

I went to an aunt from my mother's side(my mom's cousin{happy}) about a guy harassing me and she ignored me but I should've knew that situation would've scare her away but she's still my favourite, but what's hard to admit is that I'm scared of being happy and having to love people because they seem to always want to hurt me, but I give life a chance once in a life time and if I hadn't I would've had the friends I have or crushes or favourite family members, those were the only good outcome but they all have bad things coming up like losing my confidence, self-esteem, and trust for others reality life sucks guys and you honestly can't do anything about it but defeat the bad things that might come your way and just pray and have good confidence in yourself there's a saying that says "everything happens for a reason"

I never really liked that quote because things don't happen unless you give it a reason to happen or you give it a chance to happen everything can be stopped and prevented but it's all up to you to stop it because you are in full control of your own life. When you tell your parents it's my life then act like it, because your parents wouldn't be in "your life" if you didn't give them a reason to, to be honest drop the disrespect there the bloody reason why you're in this world in the first place they practically borrowing part of them into you.

Be grateful do something nice for them yeah I know there's those type of parents who don't understand the value and true description of boundaries. Parents please listen to this no disrespect but if you expect us to respect you and follow your rules, I'll start with stop the hierocracy and if you want us to respect you, respect us back because we all humans in fact were all the same just that we have an age difference what I said doesn't give you teens a reason to use that has a way of disrespect it's just fact that people keep on ignoring, and I would like to point out that , PERENTS please using us as a second chance of reliving your life and chancing the wrong in it. parents

I know it's hard to expect that you have messed up when you were young but you grew from that and every has a second chance in life you just have to pay attention to really see when your second chance comes in. I had a second chance in life and it chanced for me drastically I was a naughty, rude, selfish kid who would never listen I always wanted attention because I had never received it from home and I had never had the chance to be happy so I decided to make others miserable because that's how they made me feel.

Years go by and 2019 gave me my second chance and now I don't care about my feelings I don't care I how I feel I don't care how sad and miserable I am my job in this world is to life live and care about others and make them as happy as possible and to feel as loved as possible, and I still feel this way and I feel more comfortable doing this because what makes me happy is to see others happy and my sadness and misery doesn't matter

what I like about people is when they ask how I am and I say I'm fine they can really never know that I'm crying inside but I'm glad they will not know well now they know but I'm still going to stick to my principal's, my life is like a rollercoaster but It never has ups normally just downs. I have a question for you if you had the opportunity to either

A) Go back in time and change 1 mistake that change your life forever

B) Stop and repeat that one day that has happened in your life

C) Stop that one thing that ruined your life

Think about if before continuing reading.

If you think about it all have a consequence;

A) Look around you, you have accomplished that regardless of that one mistake and what if you change that mistake and all you have never happens or never happens so you lose it all

B) Repeating smoothing good. If I'm not wrong you're thinking about your wedding day, first kiss, all these nice things, but too much of something is wrong because you will never experience and learn the facts of life and you will soon want to be out of that repeat and want to escape it but you can't because that's what you choose

C) If that one thing didn't happen will you have been able to learn from it and make yourself better from it? be honest? No right? Exactly

You're probably asking me then what's the point of the questions well in directly I'm trying to tell you that "live with no regrets" because weather you like it or not life is full of consequences and regrets you just have to not care but not to the extent where you seem to not care at all and you seem to hurt yourself and others,

Live your live, cause your lives are numbered. If no one likes you so what, all you need is yourself yeah I know loneliness sucks but you will find that right person trusts me. Not everyone is as bad as the way the world seems. Read that again.