Don't worry... "I'm okay"

Depression

                                                                                  chapter 2

What is depression? Is it what google defines it? Is it the feeling of sadness? You can really never know what it is unless you have feel it. Why I say this because I've been depressed twice, the first was my situation with my dad and losing my mom, having the most important person in my life be disappointed. After seeing I had so many reason for one depression episode, you probably thought that being depressed is when your "sad" about 1 simple thing like; lost your husband or your heart broken. It's really not always the case that depression will lead you to being a person who will "hate life" most people just heal from it and be more careful next time, let me tell you an experience that I had it was last year (2019) and I had been given corporal punishment by father and it led to me having extreme physical and psychological pain yes I had a lot of bruises and I was in a lot of pain I couldn't sleep, I couldn't walk decently it was like I was hit by a truck.

Weeks later I was really paranoid about the idea of being home with him and it soon transformed a brave girl into a scared little girl who was afraid to be around people, at the time I had no one to talk to I was alone and scared and I isolated all my problems to myself because I was scared for my dad to know about me telling someone but I did give it a chance to talk to someone my previous head of department Mrs J Govender but she was too angry to want to talk to me she chased me away and said she doesn't want to see me ,I didn't blame her I did disappoint her and hurt her and she was like a mother to me but I gave her , her space and spoke to my principal Mrs S P who helped me which I'm very grateful about, depression has 3 main emotions emptiness, anger and sadness and I felt all three. I would also like to address to some people that depression is not an excuse to wanting attention that's the worst thing you could say to someone who is depressed.

Saying something like that can make someone instantly want to commit suicide I know how it is to want to do that, I have wanted to commit suicide at least 6 times each a different cause. If you have someone who wants to commit suicide don't all of sudden want to take them to church and hit them or neglect them, no use reverse sociology but give them the raw truth if I got that from someone I would've stopped at the first try, so tell them" go ahead , do it just know once you're gone, you're gone forever and there's no coming back or I don't want to die anymore , once you're gone yeah, we will miss you but we will move on, so it's either you go and die or you live and we will face this problem together and fight it ,because you have a big future ahead of you ,don't ruin it because of some obstacle that came your way" and right there you have shown that you care but you aren't going to lie to them and say it's going to be okay because you don't know what that obstacle is

You don't know what hurting them so much, you don't know what's making them even consider suicide, like the feeling of telling someone you're going to be okay is like you giving them high hopes of the chance of being okay but how do you know that they will really be okay ? that's why I advise to not to tell them that , tell them something that's more realistic like; " I know it's hard and it's not going to be okay for a while but you can heal from it no one said life is going to be an easy road" right there you giving them an idea that they are the ones that can help themselves heal in the situation there in, and that life isn't going to be as easy as it seems on television

This advice is for my teenagers that are going through difficult situations:

Life is messed up. I know it is, but don't let your depression take over you, trust me it not worth it. If I could've told myself that years back but I couldn't cause I was young but what I can say to you is that even though it hurts its makes you want to cry yourself to sleep it keeps on hurting, you little by little and you feel like your purpose in this world is useless embraces that and fight it and god guys please don't punish the people who care about you or love you because once you're out of that depression space you would've lost them because you pushed them away and you will go back to being depressed cause you will think you messed up and no one loves you anymore so for those who actually show remorse and care give them a break cause they trying to help don't forcefully push them away gently let them know that you appreciate their support but you want to fix it individually

Out of everything I've said about depression. This is what I meant, depression is a stage that us teenagers go through to process things that are difficult and it can really change someone it can make them wiser or it can make them less social but remember don't guide them support them, and you will see what kind of impact you can make in your teenager's life if my dad reached out to me the way I wished he did I wouldn't be a child I was before but what I'm thankful for is he made me wiser of the way things are out there