My First Heartbreak

ls he peter?

I was sitting on my chair in my cabin.
"Excuse me ma'am" Vijay says opening the door.

"Come on in " I says staring at my pc.

"Ma'am they wrote a news article about you,. I mean what you said on Valentine's day do you wanna read it " He says showing the article.

" Do you want me to read it? No need, i know very well about my own story ....it's all about how bad luck i am...." I says looking at him

" I am sorry ma'am" He says staring at floor

"Why are you sorry , if someone has to say sorry to me that would be the author of my story , i am not blaming her , i am just.. ( tears filled in my eyes) ..maybe she wants a sad ending.., we can't do anything rather than accepting fate".

" Ma'am, if you don't mind can i ask you something?? "

" Go ahead " I says turning my head towards him.

"After everything that happened to you, why do you decided to come to england??".

" Because, he always used to tell me that he likes England and he will take me with him and show me famous places like my tour guide , but now here i am all alone from the past 5 years" This time is said without any tears.

" I am working for you since from past 4 years, as long as i know u never been to america.. Why didn't you visited America?? You have your friends there but why didn't you went back even once" He says Curiously.

" Friends!! No they are not just friends, they are more like a family to me.. Monica, john ,tony, ben, Jeremy,lexi ,they are my most favorite people after peter, i miss them a lot ,i want to see them but i just Don't want to go there"..california is my favorite place and i have a favorite place in California that is a bench besides a tree.. Whenever i go there i feel so full and felt better, it is also used to be Peter's favorite place.. We used to go there together when we are dating..we have so many memories there, he rejected me there ( giggles) and he proposed to me there, everything is so memorable..the late night walks, shopping malls,
..m.after he is gone everything started to hit different, whenever i go to that places, reminded me that, it doesn't went well as planned .....after 1 year everyone around me started to say things like 'you should move on katie' i know they all are my well wishers but i don't want to move on, even if i want to i can't....and then Peter's father helped me to move to England" I said and left a sigh

"But ma'am do you know why someone get so sad when their loved one dies??" Vijay asked me.

" Because we can't talk to them, we can't touch them or see them.we can't share happiness are sadness, and they are not gonna be part of our lives anymore" I said.

" I think your Friends would feel the same way towards you as you feel for Peter, you are making to feel them like you are dead, and it's not good ma'am, you know how that feels, so you should visit them at least once " He says like a good friend.

I remained silent. I realized how i made decisions so selfishly

" Book tickets for California " I says getting up from my chair.

" Ok ma'am "he said with a smile.

***

I am on my way to my house, house that peter bought me, i actually never been to that place after i read that letter... So i don't know if i am excited or sad..
I unlocked the door, there is all dust all around the places..i went to the bed room , it's still looking the same, i opened the closet and there is a paper and a photo.. I took out the paper

Katie, you asked me so many times that why do i touched the tree and smiled , well i'll to you why,. when i first talked to you in high school i was standing besides the tree, and you are crying , and you don't know me,same thing happened when we first talked three years ago, you are crying that day too and you don't know me, and then when we met after that, it reminded me of that two incidents, so i touched the tree and smiled.. I hope you found your answer, so now you have nothing left to ask me any more and i have nothing left to say what i didn't said to you, so i can peacefully go now, i know when you read this i am already left to spain..much love
-peter Carter
Tears started to roll down from eyes i want to tell him that he is right he already left me, but he didn't went to Spain he went far away that he can't come back ..i placed the paper on the closet and picked the photo, it's a picture of me and my mom planting that tree, yah that tree which has a bench besides it..i think he Probably took that picture from my album..