Stories and Oneshots for My Other Books

If the Characters of Demon Slayer had Phones Pt.2

Hashira+the Master gc

Sanemi: Luka Blancrosa.
Luka: What is it?
Sanemi:🖕
That's for dating my brother.
Luka: Not my fault I'm too damn sexy.

Phoenix: LOLOLOL!!! His ego went 📈.

Cali: Phoenix, stop laughing. I can see you wheezing beside our grandfather and he is looking at you like you need help.
Shinobu: Phoenix, why is there blood on the mirror in your room? And why is the mirror crumbling because of the blood?
Levi: Phoenix.

Phoenix: Whoops. That was my bad. I need to learn that punching mirrors doesn't help you cope.

Shinobu: 🖐️Pause. Repeat that.
Rouge: Phoenix.
Cali: Toxins.
Rengoku: What's with the random word, Cali?
Cali: Phoenix, I need some of your blood.
Obanai: I'm sorry, what?

Phoenix: No.

Cali: You didn't get a say in the matter. Give me your arm.
Levi: Cali, Phoenix hates needles.
Cali: IDGAF. Phoenix, give me your arm.

Phoenix:Dgtdvtjngijnraxvkplmgeeasxv

Phoenix has gone offline.
Cali has gone offline.

Levi: Well, shit.
Muichiro: What's happening?

...

Uppermoon+Muzan gc
Douma has changed Izanami to Phoenix

Phoenix: Douma, wtf is this? Change my name back.

Douma: Isn't that your name? I heard Master Muzan say that name to you.

Phoenix: That's the name of my current target, stupid.

Douma:... Oh.

Kokushibo has changed Phoenix to Izanami.

Kokushibo: Do not make... this mistake again.
Kaigaku: Sus.
Daki: 🖐️ Hold it. What does "sus" mean?
Kaigaku: I learned it from Izanami. It's a shorter way of saying suspicious.
Gyuutaro: Exactly how is Kokushibo suspicious?
Kaigaku: The bitch is softer with her than he is with me. I know she's the heiress, but wtf?
He SMILED at Izanami once. SMILED.
Akaza:😐😑😐😑 Are you for real?
Kaigaku: YES!

Izanami: That's not normal?

Muzan: No, it isn't. Kokushibo, ask for my permission if you decide to court her.
Douma: He ships it. 😏
Kaigaku: IKR.
Kokushibo: Enough.

Izanami: Izanami is too shy to admit she loves the attention.

Muzan: Luka. Give Izanami her phone back.

Izanami: Luka, why would you say that?!

Muzan: To be honest, I see no lie.

Izanami: End me.

Kokushibo: No.
Muzan: Beat me to the punch.

...

Kamaboko Squad gc
Phoenix has added Muzan.

Tanjiro: Phoenix, why did you add Muzan Kibutsuji to this group chat?

Phoenix: ✨ Entertainment. ✨

Genya: Why though?
Muzan: Why did you add me here? This is a group chat with demon slayers.

Phoenix: You literally thought Tanjiro was a dead guy. The dead guy happens to be your fear.

Muzan: We don't speak on that.
Tanjiro: Kibutsuji.

Muzan has gone offline.
Phoenix has added Muzan back in.

Muzan: To think, you were my favorite.
Kanao: What does he mean?
Zenitsu: Um, guys? I see Phoenix with someone in a headlock.
Nezuko: 📸
Zenitsu: A picture? Okay.

Zenitsu has sent one attachment.

Tanjiro: Phoenix, are you strangling Muzan Kibutsuji?
Muzan: She has me in a headlock, so I'm basically trapped with her. Save me.
Tanjiro: After what you did to my family? Nah. Suffer.
Genya: I sense a grudge.

Phoenix: Sanemi found out that you and my twin are dating. Sanemi can't kill him though.

Tanjiro: Because Genya loves him?
Muzan: Nope. It's actually a matter of he doesn't know how to.
Tanjiro: Won't Shinazugawa just behead him?
Genya: We already figured out that won't kill him.
Kanao: We? Who's we?
Genya: Myself and Nemi.
Muzan: As if that kid could die from being beheaded.

Phoenix:😶

Kanao: Phoenix, what are you hiding? You are acting very suspicious.
Muzan: We're related.
Tanjiro: What?! Phoenix, is this true?!
Muzan: Grandchildren these days.
Zenitsu: That man is your GRANDFATHER?!
Genya: That... actually explains a lot. It really captures where you got your sadism from.

Phoenix: Well, this has been fun, but Kokushibo and I promised to train. Bye!

Muzan: Don't be like that. Also, Genya.
Genya: Yes?
Muzan: I'll tolerate you.
Genya: Ok.

Muzan has left the chat.
Phoenix has left the chat.

Genya: Ok, what just-

Hope you all enjoyed this! Au revoir!