Close to heaven

Forgiveness

What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead.~ Bring me the horizon

It was the day of the color party. I was with myself (I'm starting to get used to it). Everyone was running up and down, nervously about the competition. I saw Marley coming over to where I was. That's weird I thought she was still mad at me.

"Is this seat taken?"

I shook my head slightly. She sat down and looked at me, "you know I hate being mad at you, right?"

I nodded.

I hate being mad at you, too.

"But you hurt me... You already know that though." she sighed

I looked down a little.

Yes, and I'm sorry

"say something, already."

I bit my bottom lip a bit hard trying to contain myself from crying but I started feeling how the tears started rolling down my face,  "I didn't mean to call you that. I wasn't even going to tell you that. I didn't want to say that to you. Not with those words. It didn't come out right. I'm so sorry, Marley." 

"So you really think I'm a slut?" 

"no, I'm just worried about you. I see how you are letting yourself get used by guys. It's not supposed to be like that. You should be the one breaking their hearts."

She looked at me and frowned a little. I continued, "They are playing with you. I hate seeing you get hurt. You don't deserve to get hurt. You are a good person."

"you know I really like him," she said talking about one of the guys she liked

"He is ugly and is just playing with you. He only wants to fuck with you. And by fuck I really mean fuck. He is not the type of guy who would make love to you."

"But he is so cute and sweet. I can't help it." She showed me a photo of him.

Ew, god, he is ugly as hell. Why does she even like him?

"I don't want you to get hurt. Please, Marley, analyze the situation a little. He made it obvious that he just wants to sleep with you and that's all."

"But he is the only one"

I looked at her with a "really?" Face and shook my head, "right, so you didn't have a friend with benefits"

"no, I didn't"

"and your friend, who you would make out with?"

"whom?" She asked

"you know who I am talking about... Jason"

"He has a girlfriend now"

"He had a girlfriend when you kissed him. That didn't stop you two."

"but it's over," she explained

"I hope so. But seriously, don't get yourself harmed by guys. Like Marina and the diamonds said: 'Boys they like the look of danger. We'll get him falling for a stranger, a player Singing I lo-lo-love you.' " I sang.

She chuckled and then nodded, "I should leave him wanting more," she said with a wink. We softly laughed and then took a deep breath, leaving a small silence. I looked at Marley and then down, "I'm so sorry Marley."

She placed her hand on my shoulder and gave me a warm smile, "Don't worry about it. It's all fine now."

We got up and she cleaned the small dirt that she had on her pants, "now, let's look for Tracy. She said we had to look for her."