All of Me (Sebastian Vettel)

63. Slipping Through His Fingers (1)

Seb's head was banging when he woke the following morning, the empty vodka bottle stood on table reminding him of the events of the previous evening, and of the reason he currently had the headache from hell. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was a little past 10 am. He stood up, still a little wobbly on his feet.

He went through to the kitchen and took a glass out of the cupboard. Filling it with water, he took a box of paracetamol out of the drawer. He'd just swallowed two of them down when he heard his phone ringing. He headed back to the games room, answering it without looking who it was.

"Hello?" he said.

"Where are you?" came the very pissed off sounding voice of his ex wife.

"At home. Where else would I be?" he replied.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe picking me and the girls up for our family day out for Rebekah's birthday?"

"Oh shit. I am so sorry. I forgot." He ran his fingers through his hair agitatedly.

"You forgot? How can you just forget? Were you too busy reuniting with Alyssa? I get that you have things you need to discuss with her, but Rebekah has been looking forward to today. Just  get here ASAP. I don't want to have to tell her that her Daddy forgot her!"

"I can't drive Sienna. I had a skinful last night and I'm still half drunk.  Please can you pick me up?"

"You forgot your daughters' day out because you were too busy getting shit faced? You know what, maybe I should just take the girls out on my own.   You make out you want to be a hands on Dad but you really need to get your priorities sorted."

"It's not how it sounds. Please Sienna, I'm sorry ok.  I just...". He had to stop talking or he was going to break down. 

"Seb, is everything ok?" Sienna asked.  She sounded concerned. She must have heard something in his voice.

"Not really Sienna, no," he admitted.

"Look, get ready. We'll pick you up in half an hour," she said, her voice softening.

After disconnecting the call Seb went upstairs. He hadn't expected to find Alyssa in their room but he was still disappointed when he found their bed unslept in.

He had a quick shower, before dressing in a pair of jeans, a T-shirt and a hoodie. It was getting colder now November had arrived. He then headed down to the kitchen, surprised to see Alyssa sat at the table.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she replied, a dull tone to her voice.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Not really. We need to talk."

"I know, but I'm off out in a few minutes for Rebekah's day out. We can talk later?"

"Oh, of course." Alyssa felt sick. Once again she was being reminded that he had kids with someone else, that he may never want kids with her. "Look before you go I have to ask you something."

"Sure. Fire away."

"Do you see kids in our future? Please be honest with me."

Seb looked at her intently. He could see her eyes were full of unshed tears. He bit down on his bottom lip. He knew that his answer might destroy everything that they had, but he knew he couldn't lie to her. He slowly shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I just...I don't want any more Aly. It wouldn't be fair on the girls. I don't want children by different women. I'm so sorry. I should have made it clear from the start."