Danger Zone. ● Sterling Archer.

Job Offer.

"Goddamn it, Archer, why do you always fuck up everything!" I shouted as he sped down the road in a red crappy, slow clown car down the streets of Paris. We were on a mission together, trying to track down a man named Kasparov, who was riding faster than us on a motorcycle. "You could had picked any damn car, and you chose the slowest one!"

"This was all that was there, Lila!" Archer argued.

"There where? Outside a clown college?!" I exclaimed.

"They have those here?" Archer questioned.

"I don't fucking know, idiot!" I exclaimed before gasping with widened eyes as I noticed he was beginning to drive on the sidewalk, and towards a guy standing near a table. "Archer watch out!" Suddenly, Archer drove into him as he kept driving. "You fucking lunatic!"

"Hey, you said to drive fast, and that's what I'm doing!"

"I didn't mean drive into civilians, you asshole!" I exclaimed. "None of this would be happening if you wasn't trying to fuck the damn waitress, blowing our cover by gloating about being a secret agent!" He scoffed.

"She was the hostess!" I rolled my eyes. "And, in my eyes, it seemed like you were jealous!" I rolled my eyes, again. "Just admit it, it was killing you watching me flirt with another woman!" I scoffed.

"I'm more jealous over the fact that your stupidity and arrogance is gonna cause ISIS to be humiliated by ODIN once again!" I said. Suddenly, I began to hear sirens from behind us.

"ODIN!?" Archer exclaimed. "First of all, Lila.." Archer began as the cop car came beside us, and the officer in the passenger seat was holding out a stop sign while looking at us, motioning for us to pull over.

"Arretez-vous! Arretez-vous!" The officer shouted, which was French for stop right there. Archer turned the wheel, causing the car to swerve off to the side to ram the cop car off the road, and into a building.

"Oh." Archer chuckled, causing me to narrow my eyes at him.

"You think this is funny?!" I exclaimed.

"No, what I think is funny is that you think ODIN can beat Sterling Archer!" Archer said. "Only Sterling Archer beats.." He trailed off as he hit the brakes, causing the car to come to a halt as we stopped at a crossroads, indicating he lost where Kasparov was heading.

"Do you wanna finish that?" I questioned, causing him to began to back up, using his arm to reach over so he could look behind him.

"Do you wanna finish shutting your big, fat, negative wordsy mouth?!"

"Says the guy who told the waitress that he was a fucking ISIS agent!"

"She was the hostess!" He exclaimed, again. "And I had a plan!"

"A plan?!" I exclaimed. "What? To get fucking laid in the walk in?!"

"Also, because I'm not an ant, Lila!" Archer shouted as he glanced at me before swerving the car around so he was driving correctly down the road. "I happen to see the big picture!" I scoffed.

"Oh really?" I questioned. "Well then, where's.." I trailed off as he swerved again, bringing the car to a stop in front of an alleyway where Kasparov was sitting on his motorcycle, and with seeing us, put his hands up in defense. "Kasparov." I finished as I looked over at Archer, who smirked at me. "Oh, that was just luck." Archer scoffed.

"Yeah, luck of nature because I happen to have perfect situational awareness, Lila." I sighed softly with the shake of my head.

"Archer." I said.