Diary/Journal/Whatever is Manly

Chapter 9

Misty

'Is it worth it?

Here one moment,
Gone the next,
Enjoy it while is lasts,
Smiles, laughter, memories,
Before you know it,
It's all flipped around.
Smiles, laughter, memories,
Covered by the dirt that,
Covers the ground,
No more feelings,
No more enjoyment,
Gone,
Stuck in a moment.'

"Relationships. Are they worth it? Or, are they more trouble than, they are worth? I personally would vote for the latter. Just like Park at the beginning, I want to make it through life virtually invisible. Sitting alone, is easier than venturing out. It's not just the teasing, and the fear of rejection for me. It's like, why make relationships, when like a flame, they are so fickle? I asked someone recently if it was worth it. His friend was in hospital, and I could see the trepidation written all over him. He seemed like the perfect person to ask. If their relationship was just leading to that moment, then was it worth it? He told me yes. Even with death crouching at his his friend's door, he told me it was worth it. Who knows, maybe it is, maybe it's not? Or maybe, I'm just at chapter 1? Maybe I just need to find my Eleanor."

'Why do I?

I heard some sad news today,
But I continued on my way,
Unburdened and unbothered,
Am I heartless, made of stone?
Or am I human, made of bones?
Why do I not scream?
Why do I not shout?
Why do I not cry?
Why do I continue on my way,
Despite the sad news I heard today?'

---

Tyler

"What inspires me? I don't know. I guess it's the process, the knowledge that I can consciously create something. That my putting of this, taking of that, can create something. Something that can make someone cry, laugh, scream and more. I can start with one singular dot, that one might call an imperfection on a white sheet of paper. What inspires me, is wanting to know when an imperfection, becomes part of an intricate masterpiece. I create, and create, and create, in a constant never ending loop. It's in those moments, when I free myself of focus, that I create my most beautiful work. When I'm not creating because... But just cause... Inspiration strikes when I do not actively go looking for it. I could be drawing a landscape, and there in that landscape I see something. Perhaps I'm drawing a jungle, and suddenly I cut through the branches. I see behind the vegetation, a waterfall. Then I'm drawing the waterfall, and beneath the water I see a forgotten treasure in its depth. I'm now drawing the treasure, whilst retracing the steps of how it got to be submerged under that body of water, looking up there's a cliff. Now, there's a man running, escaping with the treasure he's hunted down and stolen on my page. It keeps going, until I'm at the beginning; the beginning where all the treasure was created in the first place. There is an old man, molten gold burning over the fire, carving tools, half made pieces, intricate in design. This piece I create captivates me, all of me, until I've created what I imagine to be a masterpiece. What inspires me? I don't know."

---

"How was class?" Dennis asked as he sat down on the table the group had chosen for that afternoon. Classes were over and as per the agreement that was made the previous night, they all met up at the coffee shop. 

"Same old. We had to continue with the production of the class musical, which might I add is coming along nicely. You'll have to come see this one, everyone is actually actively participating." Stacey mumbled over a mouthful fries, that had been ordered by Tyler when he arrived before everybody else. She bumped Dennis' shoulder, and nodded towards the group in silent communication. 

Understanding the command hidden behind aggressive action, Dennis quickly jumped into action. "Definitely should come guys, it'll be worth your while, no doubt about it."

"We had an analysis about 'Eleanor and Park'. I just did a speech about the importance relationships, whether they are worth it or not." Misty answered, not looking up the notebook she was scribbling in.

"We did speeches as well. You should have seen this guy, it was like he was possessed or something. What did you say? 'I create not because, but just cause'. I don't know, it was some useless philosophical rubbish like that." Stanley laughed, as he shook Tyler's shoulder that was closest to him.

"Mate!" Tyler yelled, as the sudden disturbance that caused him to ruin his drawing. 

"Whoops, sorry mate." Stanley, lifted his hands up in surrender, giving Tyler a sheepish smile. "But I'm serious, you should have seen it, it was like the whole class was in a trance." 

"Shut up." Tyler punched Stanley's arm, as he shut his sketch book. "I don't even know what you're talking about. I don't even remember class, which is more work I have to catch up on." Tyler huffed.

"What are you talking about, you were highlight of the entire class." Stanley asked confused.

"Stanley, I don't know what you're talking about."

"But..." Misty clearing her throat, caused all eyes to tun to her in confusion. "What?"

"No telling him what he thinks hasn't happened, remember?"