Sweet and Salty ~ (GxG) (Book 3: The Sweet and Sour series)

Collateral Damage

Satyavati was taken aback for a second before the realization hit her. Tasha was sobbing.

Satyavati always knew how vulnerable Tasha got with mockery and cold treatment. She had been receiving cold shoulders and hateful, mocking remarks from her parents her whole life. She was absolutely terrified that someday Satyavati would loose all adoration for her too and she would end up abandoned and rejected once again.

For a person dealing with clinical anxiety and depression, the thought of loosing the last shoulder to lean on was more petrifying than Satyavati could have imagined. The older woman always held Tasha close to her with warmth even when she was mad on her, never rubbing her soft spot with a whatever attitude. She cared for Tasha and even in anger she made sure it showed in her behaviour.

Satyavati pursed her lips. She knew she fucked up. She was literally on edge the entire evening unable to reach both Devjani and Tasha. There were thousand scenario, each worse than the previous, playing inside her head while she desperately tried to reach both of them.

When after two hours of torment Devjani called to tell her that she had taken Tasha out on shopping followed by a movie all of Satyavati's distress gave way to a fuming rage. She first fought with Devjani after they got home and decided on giving the young woman a cold treatment, subconsciously knowing it would hurt Tasha more than the rebukes and lectures she would be half expecting.

Satyavati got surprised by how cruel she had been. She hurt her pregnant wife-to-be on purpose knowing that she would have a meltdown. Did she enjoy tormenting her? Did she become a little too focused on exerting revenge for not listening to her and staying home? Did she satisfy her ego by hurting the vulnerable woman where it would ache the most to just keep the control of the relationship in her hands? Was she a sadist?

Satyavati could feel the fabric of her night shirt wetting with Tasha's uncontrolled tears. She was mumbling sorry in a broken, timid voice. She was scared.

"Ssshhhh..It's okay baby...Relax. I'm sorry girl. Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you", Satyavati tried coaxing her woman hugging her close to her chest.

It took a long time for Tasha's sobs to die down in soft, broken whimpers. Her tear stained face was red, her eyes swollen, her lips still trembling. Satyavati's heart broke as she realized where she had hit her woman.

Satyavati sat on the bed and held Tasha firmly on her lap as the young woman hid her face in Satyavati's chest and timidly looked up. Her eyes shadowed in fear. Not the fear of getting scolded but of being rejected, unloved!

"Are you still mad?", Tasha asked after a long silence. Her voice was still frightened, full of uncertainty.

"No baby girl", Satyavati pecked her forehead gently, "I'm an unworthy lover, ain't I?"

"No...Not at all", Tasha protested. Her eyes now confused.

"I let you get hurt by the same stranger thrice. Unable to resist her everytime. I still know nothing of her. And now I hurt you without any reason. I'm a sore looser. I was supposed to protect you and I failed miserably. And I vented my frustration hurting you", Satyavati gritted her teeth.