Maya and Josh- The Long Game

Aftermath

Pain. That was all that Maya was feeling, pain. She was awake but she felt like this was all just a horrible nightmare. Just moments before her heart broke into a million pieces, there she was, laughing, talking and being excited about the boy she loved. Josh. Now, just thinking his name hurts her soul. Words can not explain how she felt. She loved him, she still did, she didn't know how to continue without him. But after all, she was right, all of her fears and anxieties about trusting him were eligible, she was right, hope is for suckers, she should have listened to her fears, at least they were honest with her. But deep down she was also questioning the whole scenario and how unbelievable it was that Josh would do such a thing, something felt so odd to her but she couldn't explain what, maybe she just wished it wasn't true and she hadn't seen Josh in bed with another girl.

Joshs POV
As I am walking from the subway to Cory and Topangas, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I have nothing to say, I can't even remember what happened! I was drunk, I did all these things, apparently, I mean I can't remember any of it, did I do that? I don't know myself anymore. Maya. The girl I'm so in love with, she is everything to me, she lights up my world. The thought of losing her kills me, it can't be, I can't lose her. I don't have a plan, I'm just going in and facing whatever lays ahead.

Josh came up to the door and slowly opened it. He just walked in and stood by the couch. As he scanned the room his heart started to pound at the sight of Shawn sitting at the kitchen table with Cory, Topanga and Riley.
Everyone looked at him with different feelings inside but most of it was a mix of confusion, anger and disappointment about what happened. Cory was the first to get up and walk over to his brother. Josh couldn't help but to tear up at the sight of his brothers eyes, filled with disappointment. „Cor, I-I...", and before he could say more his brother would pull him in for a comforting hug.
Riley got really mad at her dad hugging her uncle „Dad, how can you hug him? He doesn't deserve it!"

Cory let go of Josh and turned around „Riley, Josh is my brother and I love him. And from what I can see he is also hurting. And we still don't really know what happened."

„Are you kidding me? I saw him laying in bed with a girl, what proof do you need?" Riley continued frustratingly

„Cory she is right, I don't deserve your love. What I have done was inexcusable, even though I don't remember doing it" Josh admitted as he looked down in shame

„Damn right it is!" Shawn yelled from the background. He got up to walk towards Josh too, his fists clenched „I told you if you do something stupid to Maya I would do something stupid to you. Lucky for you, you are my best friends brother who I watched growing up and cared for too. If you are half the man I thought you were, at least own it, own your mistake. And knowing how Maya feels, it will be punishment enough for you to have lost her" he said with dead seriousness in his eyes, making Josh's heart break even more.
Josh had no words for Shawn, all he could think about was Maya. „Where is she? Can I at least see her and tell her how sorry I am?"

„No, she doesn't want to see you, Josh, you should just leave" , Riley snapped.

„Riley, it's okay, I can take it", Maya softly said as she came into the room. It took everything for her to suck up the agony she felt inside and the urge to cry. She slowly walked up to Josh, standing right in front of him, she looked him in the eyes „Why? Why did you do it?"

Josh had to immediately look away from Mayas gaze, it was too much for him. All he felt was guilt and shame for something he didn't even remember doing. Looking down he started to speak „Maya, I-I-..."

„Look at me", she demanded and Josh slowly looked up but he almost couldn't bare her gaze

„I wish I could give you an answer Maya, but I honestly don't know. I was never drunk before, all I wanted was to have some drinks with my friends and to be with you and everyone else. And all I know is I woke up in.." his voice broke in shame of what he was about to say „in Ambers bed and not remembering how I got there. But you have to believe me that I would never to this to you in my right mind, Maya. You mean everything..."