Love isn't always easy

Chapter 8 - Things happen for a reason

The next few days were a little boring because we had to hear so many information about each sight we visited. We visited Notre Dame De Paris. That's a Gothic cathedral but if you ask me it's a church. Yes. Just a simple church. We also saw a show at the Moulin Rouge, Pont des Arts. That's a bridge above the river Seine, Tuilieries Gardens and learned a lot more about Paris. For example, how the river Seine divides the city in two parts. So, basically we just went from one place to another. Even though the sighs were boring for me, all of that didn't really matter. I didn't care as long as I had Louis beside me.

As always time passed me by too quickly and it was already Saturday. Yes, Saturday. As in the last day, my last day in France. How do you think I felt? Terrible. I was really sad. I had always thought of France to be an amazing experience and that it would somehow change my life but I was wrong, Louis was the one that changed my life.

I could never forget the first time we kissed. It was magical, all of our moments were but you know what they say all good comes to an end. I wasn't even thinking clearly, I was so stupid because at some point I had to realize we could never be together. Not only we lived in a different country, we lived on different continents.

When we were together I got the feeling like the whole world didn't matter, do you get it? We were... Well, we were happy. But that day, that Saturday was one of the worst days of my life. I couldn't get rid of this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. I didn't want to return back home I just wanted to stay with him, only him. It felt like he was my home.

We both avoided the question "What's going to happen to us?" Because I think we both knew the answer. We just didn't want to talk about it. I still had a tiny bit of hope in me. I always had hope. You know what they say hope dies the last. They also say hope is the only thing stronger than fear. Even though that's probably true hoping for something that doesn't happen just lets you down. He never asked me to be his girlfriend directly it just seemed so after how things happened when we went to the Eiffel tower. I didn't exactly know where we stand and he didn't either but if we talked about it, then it would become real. We would have to break up.

Isn't it amazing how little time you need to meet a person but yet even less to get attached to them and develop strong feelings or whatever. It just sort of happens without you realizing it.

I tried focusing on the good things, you know, thinking positive. But sometimes I couldn't help myself but to think everything was already over between us. It was annoying because I couldn't get it out of my mind.

"Ashley..." Louis started talking when we were in my room. In my room... I would never see that room again... Anyway, we were home alone but Beatrice was coming in a few hours.

I thought to myself. I just loved it when he called me Ashley. I know it's my name but we didn't need some childish nicknames like with me and Will. Thinking about those actually made me laugh: Ashley–bear and Willy–boo, seriously? What were thinking? Are we in first grade...? "Hey, are you even listening to me?" Louis' words broke me away from my thoughts. I forgot he was telling me something. That is just one of those times I kind of got lost in my head.

"Oh, um... I'm sorry." I apologized. "I'm listening now." He smiled:

"It's okay. So, as I was saying what do you wish for us to do today?" Even though he was smiling I saw through him. He was trying to be happy and strong for me but I knew he cared and was sad too.

"Honestly, I don't care as long as we're spending it together." I spoke from my heart and we smiled. "But, I know you already have something in mind." I was right.