Of All The Stars: Sirius Black

𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓣𝔀𝓮𝓷𝓽𝔂 𝓣𝔀𝓸

Estelle immediately felt the cold as she dropped Sirius's sweater, the wind no longer a soft nip but a bite at her skin through her thin top.

She wasn't crying this time, she wasn't angry, she felt as if she was seared. It all happened so fast and it left a painful mark in her head. She knew he wasn't going to hurt her, she knew that, but she had still flinched away from him. She pushed that thought away, the memories trying to resurface into her head.

His words had caused more pain anyway, how could he think she would do that... She hadn't done that, not knowingly...

Well, Maybe she had.

Her thoughts had become frantic. Maybe he didn't want to kiss her and she had somehow forced him to do it... What if the kiss had been against his will. She gasped, startled by how fast she had made her way to James's door.

She raised her fist to knock but hesitated, what if he got angry at her. If she told her friends...they would hate her for doing such an awful thing to him, even if she hadn't done it on purpose. She paused, taking a deep breath.

"I didn't do it on purpose." She reminded herself; and pulling herself together,  she quietly knocked.

She heard the rustling of blankets and the creak of a bed, and then soft footsteps nearing the door.

Then a thud, two crys of pain, one loud and the other muffled.

"Shit, sorry Pete." She heard James mumble, and Peter squeak out something in reply.

Then the door opened and James stood there bleary eyed, without glasses and wearing an old muggle band t-shirt.

"Stella?" He said, rubbing his eyes.

"Can I come in?" She asked quietly.

James nodded and held open the door for her to pass, mumbling something about looking out for Peter.

She looked down at Peter, who was on a cot close to the door, he was sitting up to look at her through the darkness.

"Hi Stella, are you okay?" He said through a yawn.

"Mhm" Was all she could get out. She took a seat on the edge of the James's bed, and watched as he stumbled back towards her. He fumbled with his glasses on the bedside table, and flicked on the lamp. Taking a seat beside her.

She looked up at him, true distress in her eyes. He frowned back at her, with a confused and worried expression.

"Whats going on?"

She leaned forward and threw her arms around him, he put his around her shoulders holding her tight. "Stella you are cold as ice, were you outside?" He gasped, pointing to a jumper on the desk chair. "Pete grab that for her."

Peter gave them a questioning look, tossing the jumper at him. James could only mouth "I don't know" back, as he was just as confused.

She pulled away, shaking her head. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to....It was an accident, I didn't know I was doing it." She said, he voice cracking and tears brimming her eyes. So much for being calm and collected.

"What? I don't understand? What did you do?" James said peering down at her, a hand on each of her shoulders.

"I- I made him kiss me. He was right, it was because of what I am....H-he doesn't like me that way and I made him do it." James's eyes darkened, and immediately knew what had happened. Even before Estelle had a chance to recount the conversation with Sirius.

James pulled her into a hug, whispering that is wasn't her fault over and over, and that she hadn't done what she thought. What he had made her think she had done.

"Stella, love, don't you think all the boys... and maybe Marlene..." He said with a smirk, and she shook with a silent chuckle against his chest. "-would have all been looking at you the way Sirius had been all night if that really was the case?"

She pulled away from the hug, thinking about his words for awhile."I suppose so yes... Unless I was channeling my energy some how." She said, more to herself than him.

"But you wouldn't do that. We all know that you wouldn't." He looked at her with a soft smile, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She stared at him for awhile, loosing a couple of sighs.

"This isn't the same as Stephen." James added, breaking the silence. She cringed, scrunching up her nose at the memory of that terrible date.

"I know, but it somehow feels worse. I think I..." She drifted off, he cheeks turning pink and contrasting deeply with her pale skin. But James knew what she would have said.

"Pete, why don't you go bunk with Remus? Im going to go murder Sirius so he won't need a bed." James said, jutting his thumb in the general direction of Sirius's room. Peter laughed, but it didn't meet his eyes, he pulled on his slippers and stumbled sleepily away.

"Don't be mean James." Estelle said, crossing her arms.

"The prat deserves a good punch in the face." James said with a frown.

"Im serious." Estelle said, shaking her head.

"No... You're Estelle." James said with a wink. She couldn't help but grin back at him, crawling into his bed.

James had gotten up and pulled on a jumper, and was just closing the door behind him when Estelle mumbled from under the quilt.

"Can you please just make sure he hasn't frozen to death?"

He put on a fake grin, "It won't matter since Im going to kill him." and closed the door.

He dropped the smile, first walking down the hallway and waking up the other girls to go sit with Estelle. He wasn't sure how long he would be out there, and he didn't want her to be alone.

He was pissed. He knew this would happen, and even though he had joked around with Estelle for her sake, he was very angry.

He fumbled down the dark stairway, thinking about the conversation with Sirius earlier that evening.

"Why on earth would I want to hurt her?" He had said, and James had believed he wouldn't... Why would he have done this? Only hours later? And to use such a stupid excuse that he knew would get to her.

He confronted Sirius, and watched as the anger dissolved on his face with every word, and as the hurt and the guilt washed over him.

The words James had spoke to Sirius earlier rang through his ears, he had reminded Sirius that Estelle was their bestfriend... Insinuating that he shouldn't pursue this...Clearly it had done more harm than good.

He had sabotaged whatever this was about to be between them, to save Estelles feelings. Not realizing that maybe it could be good... Maybe he didn't have to give up his friends for them to be together.

Sirius and him walked silently back upstairs, the lights were out in his room and back on in Estelles. He opened the door, peering in just to be safe. The bed was empty.

James and Sirius closed the door behind them and the house went back to silence, but it was nearly 4 am before anyone was back to sleep.