Another Man's Treasure

18. The Funeral

Two Years Ago

As Madison looked out the window of the nursery, she just sat there staring into nothing.
   Her mother touched her shoulder gently. "Maddie, come down to eat something sweetie, or must I bring you something up hm?"

Madison couldn't respond. She was numb.

Her mom sighed. "Okay baby, I'll keep something aside for you for later when everyone is gone." Her mom returned to leave and suddenly Christian opened the door and came in. "She still won't eat, be easy on her." Her mom whispered to him and walked out the room closing the door behind her.

   Chris just looked at his wife's back, she was breathing silently and just sat still, almost corpes-like. He decided to just stand there.
"My parents are here. They ask how you're doing."

A tear pours out of her eyes and she closed them shut, and fiddles with her fingers.

"I told you and my mom I didn't want this. I just want to be alone, please."
She cries.

  "Can't you see you're pushing me away here? Whole week you didn't speak to me Maddie. You really think all of this is my fault?" He tried speaking gently. 
  "I'm trying to be there for you but you're pushing me away, when you had nightmares whole week I was right next to you in bed and comforted you, and I feel like a piece of shit for what happened, I'm a bad husband, I would've been an even worse father." He looked down with tears pouring out his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

Flashbacks went through Madison's head. She woke up in excruciating pain all over her body and when she saw Chris crying next to her bed, she knew. Holding her small lifeless baby girl in her arms traumatized her, she will never get her baby back.

She puts her hands over her face and sobs painfully.
  Christian walks up and kneels in front of her. "I know. I feel it too." He says painfully.

She let out a shakey breath and looked down on him.

"I don't blame you." And gently wiped his tear away.

  He frowned. "Don't blame yourself either." And touched her hand. "I love you so much, Madison. If something had happened to you I wouldn't be able to live. I don't want to lose you. You're my everything."

She just looked at him with teary eyes, remembering how badly he treated her while she was pregnant, how he yelled at her for getting pregnant, he said he didn't want the baby and was convinced that she cheated on him. She ignored it of course, hoping he would come around and accept this beautiful gift, and slowly he did, but that slowly went out the window. He would miss doctors appointments, forget picking her up sometimes, just always not giving his all in the relationship. His mind was always some place else.

But she wasn't going to bring up the past now. She had no energy to, and just turned away from him, stared out the window again.

Chris looked down, disappointed in himself.
  "We could've put her name on tombstone you know, but it was a beautiful ceremony right?"

"Mhm."

He wanted to know her name so badly, but truth is Madison have told him the name before and it's clear that he forgot it. She wasn't going to repeat herself again, he never paid attention, just not enough at least.

  He stood up and kissed the top of her head. "Come down when you're ready okay." He told her and walked out afterwards.

As he wiped his tears away he descended down the stairs feels his phone ring in his blazer's inner pocket. He took it out and saw it's her calling, he sighs before answering.

"Hi-" He started but she cuts him off.

"Come outside."

He walked faster to the front door, his heart beating rapidly.

"Chris hunny, where you going?" His mom called out from the living room and looks at him.
The house was crowded with their close friends and family, either eating something or chatting to another.

"Uhm, I'll be right back." He said and walked out into the cold weather. It had been raining.

He turned left and walked around the corner and saw her car on the other side of the road, and her standing outside by the car door.
  Finally walking over the road he asked her, "What the hell are you doing here?"

She said nothing and got into car, he followed.

  Christian took a deep breath in "Elle, now is not the best time-"

"I know, but I've been trying to get ahold of you for the past week and you never got back to me." She faced him, "Look, I know this is hard, I just wanted to know how you're holding up."

  He turned to her. That's the first time someone wants to know how he's actually doing. "I'm not okay but I'll be fine, I'm trying to be there for Madison, she's shutting me out."

"This must be very traumatic for her." Elle said.

Chris looked out the window. "I told her I never cheated on her, it was just a stupid argument but we kept having it over and over again and then this happens, my daughter is gone, it's all my fault." He turned to the woman next to him with tears in his eyes. "I don't regret us, but I do regret lying to my wife. You're amazing, but the only reason why I'm still here is because of him.
  He looked at the sleeping baby boy in the car seat in the back seat.

Elle took Christian's hand to hold."I know. He's important and you're a great father to him, don't forget that."
       They smile at each other. "He misses you, keeps calling for you."

Chris reached out to gently touch his son's small hand. "He's getting big, almost eight months." He smiles through his tears.
  "I miss him too, I miss you both." He turned to her.

They considered themselves friends, and Christian found some type of comfort in her as he got to know her with time, especially since their relationship was never supposed to happen, but he just couldn't leave after finding out that she was carrying his child after a drunken night together.

   It was a one time mistake, and he hoped that if Madison were to find out about this that she would understand and forgive him.

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22 January 2022.
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