So Long, Not Goodnight

Chapter Thirty

The light from the flames flickered into the room bouncing off the white walls. Frank helped Gerard up and massaged his wrists before pulling on his jeans and Gerard followed suit as they ran down the stairs and out the back porch. There was a hose neatly coiled beside the wooden steps that Frank began to unravel, twisting the faucet open. He raced towards the fire and pulled the trigger of the spout feeling the pressure of the water jet out, extinguishing everything into a sharp hiss and a smoky cloud. "I thought that you said that salting and burning her remains would free her," Gerard shivered, his arms folded over his chest.

"It's worked before..." Frank stared in disbelief at the cooling ground.

As the steam dissipated over the rest of the lawn and rose into the atmosphere, two words were scorched into the ground: above and below. "As above, so below..." Frank remembered the bloody words on the wall in the church, vibrant as ever like he was staring at the massacred painting instead of outside in the Jersey suburb.

"What is it?" Gerard stepped down onto the grass, the icy cold puddles in the grass beginning to numb his bare feet.

Making his way to Frank, Gerard noticed the ashy letters and drawing his own lines of memories, hypnotized and bleeding himself to the brink of death as her hand guided his. Gerard kneeled down and traced the letters with his finger. He slumped his shoulders, feeling his knees push into his stomach. "I don't fucking get it," Gerard sighed. "What is she trying to tell us?"

They both stared at the words, the light rush of wind and traffic subtle in the background as they thought. "Do you still have those books that Ray lent you?" Frank knelt down beside Gerard who was still tracing the letters over and over again, obsessed.

"No," Gerard shook his head side to side. "I returned them years ago."

"Yeah that tracks," Frank still stooped next to Gerard, watching him hypnotically trace the letters still and unblinking. 

"We could visit the library when it opens?" Gerard shook thoughts back into his head, beginning to stand up and wobbling on his feet. 

"That sounds like a great plan, babe," Frank helped him regain his balance, leading them back into the house and locking the porch door and shutting off the outside light. 

Even though they were now inside, Gerard continued to shake and rub his hands over his arms trying to warm himself. Frank enveloped him close, feeling how deathly cold he felt. His forehead was cold and clammy and his lips were purplish thinning out showing chattering teeth. "Gee, baby," Frank noticed the hollows of his eyes look skeletal as circles hemorrhaged replacing the pallor of his skin. "You're freezing! Come on."

Frank guided him up the stairs to his bedroom, pulling the comforter from the bed and wrapping him in it, but his body still shook uncontrollably. Leading him again, this time to the bathroom, he sat Gerard down on the plush bathmat as he drew water from the spout into the tub. The heat rose, filling the small space in a hazy steam of fog, but Gerard still quivered despite the growing temperature. The water shot into the tub so loudly, filling it up fast, as Frank helped Gerard up, leaving the blanket in a heap on the floor. Gerard's eyelids drooped, one lower than the other until they closed completely and shot back open just to close again. "Stay awake, baby," Frank patted his cheek, startling his eyes back open. "Stay awake, okay?"

Gerard nodded, but his body began to shut down as his eyes still flickered and his chin slumped against his chest. He was dead weight in Frank's arms as he picked him up over the lip of the tub and gently laid him down in the temperate water, laying his head on the edge of the tiled wall. His whole body was submerged except his left hand which gripped tightly on the edge. Frank pried his fingers open seeing the glow of bright on his palm below a thin veil of soot from the scorched words on the lawn. Frank went to sink his other arm into the water, but it fought against him. Gerard lay comatose, his chest still rising and falling, but other than that completely still, but the muscle in his left arm tensed and became rigid as Frank tried to drown it. The light of his palm almost pulsating every time Frank tried to dunk it into the tub. "Gee, please," Frank strained, trying to immerse him, but his body still felt cold despite the warmth of the water. "Please, baby, please..."