Mad Woman✓

21. War of words

"Misery, like the war of words I shouted in my sleep"

   TAYLOR

My fingers are trembling as I stare at the sealed envelope in my hands.

He has found us. He has found us and he is going to torture Scott to death. I read the letter over and over again. Ten, twenty, fifty times.

By the time Scott walks out of the bathroom and into the bedroom I have every word, every letter, memorised.

Bring him to us.....

Be with me, my little diamond.....

I love you.....

I will personally pull out all his fingernails. His toenails.......

I love you...

I am going to slowly murder him. And I won't kill him until he is begging me to......

And after he starts begging, I will keep him alive a little longer........

I love you.....

I love you.....

I love you.....

I love you.....

I love you.....

No!

The following days go by in a haze. Every night, when Scott is fast asleep, I grab my needle and morphine and inject a little dose.

Every night until seven days after receiving the letter.

My entire body is quivering. I have at least five times the usual amount of morphine in my syringe.

I know what it is going to look like when the police find him in the morning: morphine overdose. They'll assume it was an accident. He had been using morphine for a few days now and probably developed an addiction. He's sensitive like that.

And then, without thinking, he accidentally injected way too much. Causing him to fall asleep.. And to never wake up again.

I slowly bring the needle to his arm.

"It is better like this", I keep telling myself, "It's better than the alternative... Being tortured and killed by Morris. This is better. He will be grateful. He'll understand. Please, understand...."

When I press down, the morphine enters his system. His breathing becomes heavier not long after. His heart rate begins to slow.

And I kiss his lips and whisper, "I am so sorry. I hope you understand that this- I only did it because I love you. There wasn't another way. I love you."

I close my eyes and suddenly I am sitting in another hotel room.. Frank is sleeping in front of me. I have a syringe with morphine in my hand, my hands are shaking restlessly as I inject him too.

It only takes a blink and I am in the hospital beside Wayne's bed. He is asleep and hooked up on a machine. A needle in his hand makes sure he gets his medicine as his weak body fights to live. His breath is already too slow.

But when I add the morphine to the drip, his breathing stops... His nurse might have to go to court - why did she give him morphine? It wasn't in his description. I sit down beside the bed, my head resting on his chest until the heart monitor stops beeping and just a long, high sound rings in my ears.

I'm in a motel. Amsterdam. The beeping sound is still in my ears, but it's already fainting.

Curtis.