Mad Woman✓

23. To the ends of the earth

Loving you the way I do, I know we're gonna make it through.... And I would go to the ends of the earth, cause darling, to me that's what you're worth..

   TAYLOR

I tear the letter from between the axe and the wood. My heart is beating fast, my hands are shaking. I'm sweating even though it's cold.

"Joe!" I cry out his name as loud as I can. But he is nowhere to be seen. "Joseph!" My voice breaks.

The snow is drenching my socks, but I don't care as I turn around, looking for him. The envelope in my hand feels like it's searing my skin. "Joe!" I scream again, stumbling towards the woods.

He is gone. I fell in love. I fell so hard for him. Harder than ever before. And now he is.. gone. Taken by the people I have tried to protect him from. "Joe, please!" I cry out, my voice cracking, "Joe, I need you.. JOE!"

I should not have let him live for this long. Unbearable heartbreak is better than this. Much better. Joe deserves better than being tortured. "Joe! Joe, come back to me!" I go further into the woods, my skin and muscles are cold but sweat comes from every single pore of my body. "JOE!"

What if they do everything to him they have wanted to do to the others? What if they rip out his nails, spoon out his eyes, skin him alive? What if they give him drugs to stay awake so he can feel it all? Do those kinds of drugs exist? Probably.

If anyone could get their hands on them, it would be them. The Diamond Crows.

My feet hurt from the cold, my fingers are turning white from the cold. I'm standing still in the middle of the white woods, frozen into place. I don't know when I stopped screaming or walking or shaking. I hurt everywhere.

But I can't get myself to move. I'm standing here, frozen.

They took Joe. The love of my life.

The one person I could really, genuinely, imagine a future with... He loved me. He knew me and he loved me. He knows everything and he still loved me. And I love him. More than anything in the world.

My legs give out on me and I sink in the wet snow. The envelope clutched in my hands. My sight turns black and a weird wave of calm falls over me when my eyes shut.

I don't know how long I had been sitting there with my eyes closed. I can't remember getting up and going back to the cabin and going inside.

But suddenly everything is clear again. I am sitting on the couch in front of the warm hearth. The envelope is still in my hands. Crumpled, but still sealed.

Open it, I think, Open it now. Maybe there is a way to save him. I would do anything. Everything.

I pull off the seal and take out the letter. The paper is thick, heavy.

I take a deep breath before I let myself look at the words.

Dear Taylor,

Joe is safe right now. Morris does not know that I put this letter in the envelope as well as his. I desperately hope that you find this letter first and that you won't panic. I hope that this will make you feel better. My name is Jasna. I work for John and your father. They hired me a few months ago when you met Joe. John saw it coming, you were falling for him without realising it at first. Without wanting it, probably. John told me that you were trying so hard not to fall. But you love love. Especially when it has anything to do with 'gorgeous, romantic men' (John's words, not mine).

John is already on his way to your place. He will arrive around 4 in the afternoon.

When you open Morris' letter, he tells you to come to a certain place at midnight. Be an hour earlier. John and I have everything planned out, alright. Just be there at 11 pm. No matter what. I work for the police and friends of mine will be there. They will arrest the Crows, you and Joe will be free. You will be completely safe.

Despite the circumstances, I look forward to finally meeting you tonight.

Jasna Bishop.

I'm confused. Confused by every single word in this letter. Who is this woman? And why is she with them now, but helping me?

And what the fuck does my dad have to do with any of it? When I told him about what I had done, he practically cut me out of his life. He hated me for what I did.

And now he's helping me? Helping John? How does he even know John?

And even though I am confused, I am slightly less nervous when I open the second letter in the envelope. This one is undoubtedly written by Morris. I know, not only because of his handwriting, because of the way he writes.. Short sentences and many, many, false love confessions I do not want or need.

My dearest, my love,

I am so sorry it had to go this way. I am, however, so proud of you. This time you knew what was good for you. Not to kill him. To come back to me. I love you, I love you with all of my heart. I am so grateful that you showed me that you feel that way too... By not killing him. By giving yourself back to me. You can finally be yourself again, my beautiful love.

Tonight, I will give you a chance to say your last goodbyes to this boy. And then, you will come home with me. And I will show you exactly how much I love you. I will make you feel all the love. I will make love to you until you're crying in pleasure. Because that's what you deserve. Love. From me. And you can have it all.

At the back of this letter, I wrote the exact coordinates to the place where you can come back to me tonight. The place you can tell the boy your goodbyes. All this has been a fun game, but I am happy to finally see you give in and take me back. In your heart, in your bed, in your life.

I love you, my little Diamond. See you tonight.

M.

I stare at the letter. Disgusted. Somehow, him taking away my lover from him feels to him like I chose him. He thinks that I will sleep with him tonight. That I could ever feel pleasure in his presence. Somehow, in that messed up brain of his, he is seriously convinced that I love him. That I don't hate him with every part, every single cell in my body.

Unbelievable.

I am, indeed, glad that I read Jasna's letter first. I'm glad to know that John is on his way here. That we are going to save not only Joe tonight, but save us both.

The Diamond Crows are going to end up in prison for what they have done. And Joe and I might be free again. I can barely even imagine it. I haven't been free since the moment I met Morris. When I was only eighteen years old. It has been almost ten years, I'm turning 27 in a few days for God's sake!

I shake my head, terrified. But there's this small light, this tiny feeling of relief.

If everything goes well tonight, I might be free again. I might actually be able to live a life.

With Joe.