Mad Woman✓

18. Wanna be yours

"Maybe I just wanna be yours"

   POV TAYLOR

Joe and I are sitting in a cafe in the city, sharing a milkshake. The cafe is cosy with its red lights and seats. In the bar are bookshelves with books that are organised by colour. I really like the vibe here.

We just came back from the gym together. I am not letting Joe go there alone again. But he really wants to go, so I am coming with him now.

I did some exercises as well. My leg is getting stronger finally. I walk normally again, it's just that it starts hurting after putting too much stress on it. But I am not in pain right now, so I guess I am seriously healing, which is good. It's nice to have working legs, in case I need to run from psycho exes or their gang-leader brothers.

But today, we just had fun and even though we're both tired, we're also happier. We both are just glad that we are in this together, and not alone.

And even though I still feel it's my fault that he is in this position, he is just glad that he's here. To be here for me. Because I keep on blaming myself and I know he notices I can't forgive myself for putting him through all of this.

And I do know, deep down, that all this isn't my fault. It's Morris'. But I cannot help but feel guilty.

We both take a sip from the glass we share, our noses touching and both smiling. His blue eyes are glistening with fondness as he watches me.

He really fucking loves me.

I would almost curse him for it. But he's too sweet to condemn.

I place my hand on his face and kiss his nose, "I hope we have gotten an email back. Even if it's just one. We really have to leave Reykjavic. Sooner than later."

I have been emailing lots of estate agents, practically begging for a place for us to move into. We don't even really care about it having a kitchen or warm water. If necessary, we'll just get one of those hobs you can use with gas and we'll shower with water we warm on a fire. We just really need to get away from this big city. It is starting to feel too big. We might just be two people in a crowd, but here, it will be much easier for them to find me.

"I hope so too, baby. Let's finish this and go home." I nod, "I really need a shower too. I feel clammy." He lets me have the rest of the milkshake as he gets some cash from his wallet and pays it for us. And I know it's his own money he brought.

I have seen him use that money instead of mine every time he paid for something for me.

When we're back at the hotel, I first open my laptop to check my email.

"Joe!" I turn my laptop towards him and smile broadly, "I got an email back! We can buy this cottage! We can move in there on the first of August! It is kinda inexpensive too."

He looks at the pictures I'm showing him. It's a small one-floor cabin, in the North-East of Iceland. It's very tiny, but we don't need much space anyway. It is cosy. We can make this work.

He nods enthusiastically, "It looks actually quite nice." "It is old and it doesn't have a heating system, but it says there is warm water. And there's a fireplace, so we'll be fine." "Seems fantastic to me", he says, scrolling through the pictures.

This is the first email we got back, and maybe it isn't the best place ever.. But it's still better than this hotel. I am starting to feel nervous around here. There are too many people and I feel like we're too close to the airport. It's just no longer safe here.

We need a place we can buy and then come up with a plan to be free again.

"I'll send an email back, saying we want it. Yes?" "Aye, perfect", he nods and he takes off his shoes.

"This means we can start driving in four days", I say excitedly. I put my laptop aside and jump up, wrapping both arms around his neck. He pulls me closer by the waist and buries his face in the crook of my neck, "Thank God", he whispers. I nod, running my hands through his hair.

He kisses my neck and lifts me off the floor as I hook my legs around his hips.

"We need to shower", I chuckle as he throws me on the bed.

"Shower can wait", he smirks before placing his lips on my wrist.

"Shower can certainly wait." He takes his hoodie off and I quickly push my sports leggings down my hips.

He places his warm lips on my stomach and uses his tongue to leave hickeys on my skin. Suddenly, he grabs my leg and puts it over his shoulder. My one hand is clutching the sheets, as I tangle the other in his hair. I look down as he kisses my black panties. My pulse is rising as he teases me where I want him most.

I whimper when I feel his tongue stroke over my covered heat. And, thank god, he pushes my panties down and doesn't waste any more time.

His mouth covers my heat and a moan escapes my throat as his tongue strokes over me. His tongue circles around slowly. His fingers dig deep into my hips. His eyes are closed, but I feel the vibrations of his groans and moans all through my body.

He loves this just as much as I do.

I'm sensitive and I'm feeling dizzy, rolling my head back and squeezing my eyes shut. I can't help it and move my hips up to his mouth, my body moving on itself.

Suddenly, his movements aren't as slow anymore. Two of his fingers enter me and he sucks, causing me to snap my head back in the mattress, my mouth falling open. My stomach clenches and my legs start to shake.

And I scream, for whatever it's worth, "I love you! Ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard?" He looks up, grinning like a devil.

A strangled cry escapes my throat as I come, trying not to crush his head between my thighs.

Joe kisses his way up my body until he finds my mouth, kissing me lovingly, "Did you really just-" "Yes." "Why- What-" "I don't know what's changed", I breathe, "But something has changed. I think- I think it's better to let myself feel things again. Things besides anger and fear. Because even though love can be seen as a weakness.. I think, for us, it's the opposite. It makes us stronger."

He chuckles, "What if somebody asks me when you first said I love you?" I laugh and kiss his nose, "You go figure that out. I'm taking that shower. Unless you wanna join me and.. get rid of that." I point out the bulge in his pants.

"Yeah, let's get rid of that first", he agrees, getting up and lifting me off the bed, throwing me over his shoulder. I swiftly wrap my arms around his waist and laugh as he walks through the room to the bathroom. He turns the shower on and within a few minutes, he has pushed me up against the wall, my chest pressed against the cold stones, and his fingers sinking down in my hips as he thrusts his hips into mine.