Mad Woman✓

33. Coping

"I just wanted you to know I was never good at coping"

   TAYLOR

Patrick asked me if Joe and I could come to a restaurant with him and Penelope tonight. It turns out, that today is full of announcements and surprises.

We are sitting in a small Italian restaurant, we just got our food. I am just taking a bite from my spaghetti bolognese when Patrick takes a deep breath.

"Joe, we need to talk about Mom", he says. "She is doing so well today, but before you two came.. She practically begged me to bring her back home, to England."

Joe drops his fork and looks at his little brother. "She wants to go home?"

Patrick nods. "Yes. I know we have discussed it before. I know it wasn't possible then.. Because of college, because of your job... But you haven't been back to that place since you left."

"I am planning on going back", Joe says, but it doesn't sound very convincing. "If my boss lets me."

"You know he would. He is literally a friend of yours", Patrick shrugs. "Besides, that Jasna girl made sure your work was all taken over by Draven, so you didn't even really leave them hopeless. I mean, you did.. But Jasna saved your ass and it seems kind of wrong not to go back when she made sure you could... She did save your life."

"Please", Joe says, narrowing his eyes, "Don't- Let's please not talk about that right now."

"Sorry, didn't mean to bring that up.. But what I meant to say was.... Are you really planning on going back? Do you really want to continue the murder stuff you did?"

"Why not?" Joe asks.

"Because, well, you were very close to being murdered. And I think that maybe you're traumatized now and fixing other people's murder stuff won't-" "Patrick", Penelope interrupts him. He lifts his eyes at her and bites his lip. "Sorry. It's just... I don't know. I'm worried about you, man."

"You don't have to be." Joe sounds sure of himself, but everyone who knows him can see the pain in his eyes. And so, Patrick sees it. Shakes his head.

"I don't buy it, bro."

"So Liz wants to go back to England?" I ask, trying to bring back the original topic of this conversation.

"Yes. And I think, too, that that is what is best for her. Soon, she is going to leave the hospital, and she just.. wants to be home. Really home. She wants to die home, Joe.. Wants to be buried next to Dad."

"Yeah", Joe nods, "I get that."

"So I was thinking... I can go with her. And you can come whenever you can."

"You want to go with her? Why'd you ask me about work if you were planning on going with her?"

"I just don't think you want to leave America, you love it here. You have Taylor."

"You have Penelope."

"We can do long-distance. We already discussed it."

Joe's eyebrows drop and he shakes his head, "You discussed this with her before you discussed this with me? Don't you think that is- I can't believe this right now, Patrick!"

"Do not act like you are all disappointed in me! You do not get to play dad! I want you to live here, with Taylor! I want you to be happy! I would do this for you, Joe!"

"No, no, no.." Joe runs his hands through his hair, "You-" But I take his arm and look at him. Find his eyes, see the panic in them.

"Baby", I say, "Do you need some fresh air?"