Jaspar One Shots [abandoned] boyxboy

Stay

A/N Sorry if this chapter doesn't make a lot of sense, neither do the lyrics lol. All of the lyrics are in italics,just fyi. I tried to make them fir but it might seem a little weird lol. (Song is Stay by Mayday Parade)

I worked really hard on this so please give it a vote, comment, and all that good stuff. Thank you!! Xx

-Joe POV-

I called him. After so long of fighting the urge, I did it. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" His voice. I missed it.

"H-hey, Caspar." I say, my voice shaky. It's been so long since I've talked to him. It used to be so easy, but now...

"I need some time just to deliver the things that I need for now." Oh right, his stuff is still here. But...

"You want to deliver it to yourself? I can do it for you..." Is he suggesting he come over? Everything that I feel's like a warm deep calm casting over me. And it's taking me to somewhere new.

"If you believe that everything's alright, you won't be all alone tonight." I feel my heart soar. Yes, he does want to come over. But he's also asking me to forget about what's happened. And I don't know if I can...

But the need to see Caspar again is too strong, and I end up agreeing.

"And I'd be blessed by the light of your company." I say with a smile. Talking to him again is slowly lifting me to somewhere new.

-

A few hours later, I hear the doorbell ring. I take a deep breath and open in. I immediately break into a smile.

"Caspar." I say happily.

"Joe." He responds. "You look a little... sad." Oh. He noticed.

"Can you tell I haven't slept very well since the last time that we spoke?" A look of sorrow washes over his face. Surely he remembers. But even so, I remind him.

"You said: 'Please understand if I see you again, don't even say hello.'" He scoffs.

"Please."

I just sigh.

"Please, come in." He accepts the offer, meandering into the apartment we used to share. His eyes wash over it, finally landing on a picture of us.

He looks away. But I still saw the pained look in his eyes. I don't even know why I still have it, my heart hurts each time I look at it.

I distract myself from it by sitting on the couch. He follows suit. We stare out the window wordlessly for a few minutes. Then he says

"What a night it is." I reply with

"When you live like this and you're coming up beneath the clouds, yes. It's lovely." He looks at me, a smile playing on his lips.

"This is one of the things about you, Joe. Sometimes I don't understand what you mean, but it's always somehow deep and meaningful." I let out a small laugh, but don't say anything more.

"Don't let me down, Joe. I know you have something intellectual to say. What does it mean?" I sit there a minute, contemplating weather to let him know my true feelings. I decide to after not too long.

"It means, Caspar, all the love's still there. I just don't know what to do with it now. Living like this... still in love. Hopelessly in love. So much so, it's coming up beneath the clouds. My love fills the space around me, and there's so much it's going into space. There's so much, and it's practically taking over my life. I don't know what to do about it. But obviously I figured it out, and decided to call you."

I blush sheepishly while Caspar smiles.

"You know, I still can't believe we both did some things... I don't even want to think about." My eyes widen at him. I slap him playfully.

"Caspar!" He chuckles and I'm reminded of old times. The best times. The times in which we loved each other unconditionally. I want it to be like that again.

But it can't. Not after what happened.

I'm yanked from my thoughts as Caspar voices his. His tone is desperate.

"Just say you love me, and I'll say I'm sorry. I don't want anybody else to feel this way." He pleads. I'm taken aback. He still has feelings for me? But... I can't do this. It would have been so much simpler if he didn't love me. This is all wrong.

"No, no, no.." I mumble, head in my hands. Caspar grabs my arm and I am forced to look up at him. He speaks the words I spoke to him not even five minutes ago.

"Can you tell I haven't slept very well since the last time that we spoke?" I shudder at the memory of it. What a terrible day it had been.

"I said: 'Please understand I've been drinking again, and all I do is hope.'"

The same look appears on his face that was there when I had originally told him that.

"Have you... stopped? Since then?" He asks, I can tell he's on the verge of tears.

"Drinking? Yes. Hoping? No."

I feel the life sucked out of me. I hadn't faced that fact. But I realized it's true. All I can do is think about Caspar. Hoping that someday we might be together again. But knowing that we probably won't.

I start to shake, and I feel tears well up in my eyes.

"Please stay." I say in a barely audible whisper. He simply nods.

"Please stay." I say louder, with more force.

"Of course, JoJo. Of course." He reassures. I wince at the nickname I haven't heard in so long.

"I'll admit I was wrong about everything. Cause I'm high and I don't wanna come down." He looks at me, shock in his eyes. I giggle.

"Metaphorically, Caspar. As high as my love is. You know... in the clouds?" A look of relief settles on his face.

"Yes, yes. Of course, Joe." He obtains a sly grin. "Do you remember all the fun we had on your mother's couch?"

"Oh my god, Caspar." I say. He always knows how to lighten the mood. "I don't even want to think about it."

"You don't have to, babe." Babe. I stand up, and walk a few steps before turning back.

"I-I'm sorry, Caspar. I'm not strong enough for the both of us." He stands up as well, and walks swiftly over to me.

"You don't have to be. You don't have to support us alone. I'm right here." I grab ahold of his arm.

"I'm sorry for that day. It was all my fault. I should've done something. What was I supposed to do?"

"It doesn't matter, Joe. We're here now and-" He takes a step closer. "You know I love you." I feel my emotions start to build up again. I need him.

"Please stay." He grins.

"Stay." I plead.

"Of course, JoJo." This time I don't wince. I smile.