It's Just Living | c.h

26- Drunken

A/n

Just want to check you all know what's happening, the main character, Kate, has a brother called Harry (Harry Styles) Kate's last name isn't Styles it's just Harry's stage name, we don't know Harry's real last name... Okay if you have any questions comment xx

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I look down at my brothers motionless face in the bright lights of the hospital room and realise how quiet it is, it makes me think.

Think of what would happen if my brother doesn't make it out. Who will I turn to? Who will I rely on?

Think about how easy it is for someone to die but completely impossible for someone to come back to life.

Think about how one day you can be completely and utterly happy and careless then the next absolutely despressed and worried.

Why does that happen?

Why does that happen to the best of us?

Why is there a category of best and worst?

Aren't the best just as bad as the worst as the best name themselves the 'best' and rename the others the 'worst'. Aren't the worst just as bad as the best for letting them take over the name?

But who are the people who are neither completely horrible nor utterly amazing? The people who don't fit in. Is it better to be put in a category of being worse than not belong?

A murmur sounds in the back of my mind and I slowly realise the noise isn't in my head, it's my phone ringing- loudly.

I snap out of my thoughts and glance at my brothers steady body one last time before standing up to get my phone on the table at the end of my brothers bed where I'm assuming all his graphs on his health are put.

Wrapping my hand around my phone the cold metal tingles my fingertips but, I keep it there all the same. The screen is lit up with Calum's face glaring at me. I slide the button to answer and put the phone to my ear cautiously.

"Shhh sh sh" a slurred voice murmurs through my ear and I'm not sure if they are speaking to me or people on the other end. Maybe both.

"Um... Calum?" My voice comes out unsteady but I know it's loud enough to be heard.

"I'm sorry okay. So. So, sorry. Sor-rey." Another slurred voice erupts through the phone and I realise what's happening, Calum is drunk dialling me, perfect. Note my sarcasm.

"Calum what are you talking about?" Instead of sounds confused like before, I sound bored and this time my voice doesn't betray me.

"Ahh you know..." A pause, "Drinking." His unsteady voice scares me and I question the stability of his body right now. Why do I care?

"I'm hanging up now." I pull the phone away from my ear waiting for Calum to stop me- you know, like in the movies.

But he doesn't.

He doesn't even speak.

Something inside me drops and it confuses me as I didn't know I cared.

There's a lot of things unexpected in my life recently, I should be used to the aching.

But I'm not.

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I slump home in the rain from the hospital, standing outside the door waiting. What am I waiting for? I have a key. People are in. Why am I just standing here? Alone.

Why am I alone?

Why am I the girl to care?

I have no one to impress, no one to need a reply from. It just me- solo.

The cold night breeze picks up and hits my back suddenly and I brace myself for the icy wind freeze me, but I feel nothing. I'm just numb.