✔︎𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧

8. Childhood crush

Jisung's room wasn't just messy; it was the messiest room I'd ever seen in my life. Clothes were scattered everywhere—on the floor, the bed, and the two black chairs. Crumpled papers and empty cans cluttered the area around the bin, while his desk was buried under books, pens, art supplies, and various other random objects that I couldn't even understand why he kept. I wondered how he could even find his bed in that chaos, but it didn't seem to bother him at all.

As soon as I stepped inside, Jisung hurriedly tried to clean up, or at least make some space on the desk for both of us to study. I had been to his house a few times before, but each visit, I found his room messier than the last. Honestly, I was starting to get used to it.

I carefully looked at the math book, then at the problem written in Jisung's notebook. It was true that I wasn't terrible at math, but it was still the one subject that could give me a really hard time. That's why, when Jisung asked me to help him, I felt anxious at first, unsure if I'd really be able to help. But I couldn't say no to that hopeless boy.

I was bent over the book, biting my lip and squinting as I tried to solve the math problem. Meanwhile, across the desk, Jisung was watching me closely, studying the way I looked when I was focused. He could barely resist how attractive I seemed to him in that moment. Maybe it was the way I was biting my bottom lip—so hard he could already see a hint of blood—or the way I kept tucking my hair behind my ears, or maybe how my hand absentmindedly pressed against my cheek. Whatever it was, those little details were enough to make him lose himself in my features once again.

Eventually, after a few minutes, I sighed and looked up at him.

"I solved it. It was easier than I thought, actually. Here, let me show you how-"

"Hold on, hold on," Jisung interrupted with a whine, drawing a questioning look from me. "Can't we take a little break already? I'm so tired, math is exhausting."

"But you haven't done anything yet!" I protested, slightly annoyed.

"Come on, just ten minutes. I promise I'll work even harder after."

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair. Jisung, on the other hand, smiled and leaned closer, resting his face in his hand and looking at me with sparkling eyes.

"Sorry for asking you to help me without any notice. I didn't mean to bother you," he said, breaking the silence in the room.

"It's fine. It's not like I had anything better to do anyway," I shrugged, still staring at the half-empty page in front of me.

"Yeah, I should've known. You never hang out with anyone unless it's me, and unless I'm the one asking," he said, his tone a little confrontational, and not even trying to hide it.

"I just don't see the point."

He scoffed. "You're boring."

Jisung leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. I had always been a mystery to him. It was as if every minute of the day, I was trying to avoid people. I didn't talk unless I had to, I always declined invitations, and he could tell how anxious I became whenever a stranger tried to talk to me.

But there was a reason behind my behavior: I didn't see the point. Not anymore. Not when there was a chance things could go as badly as they had before, in that city where I thought everything was perfect.

Still, Jisung found this part of me frustrating—not the shy or anxious side, but the part that seemed unable to find anyone interesting. Sometimes he wondered if the only reason we were friends wasn't because I liked him, but because he was one of the few people I could tolerate. And nothing more.