✔︎𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧

18. Finally, one smile

I've always loved the smell of paint. I've always loved the sight of a brand new canvas. I've always loved the motion of the brush on the white surface. I've always loved how the colors mixed to form an image. I've always loved studying his face, trying to figure out how to capture it on the canvas.

I've always loved that boy named Jeongin.

But it was all gone now. I watched the world fade beneath me the moment I realized the boy I loved most had left me alone. And everything was gone. Sometimes, I wonder how I managed to find the strength to get out of bed as the days passed. Yet, I was painfully aware of how broken my world had become.

When I moved to Seoul, I hoped to find some happiness... or at least some peace. But I should have known that the ghost of him would keep haunting me. I should have known my past would never let me go. So what was I supposed to do? What do people do when they're hopeless and think there's no way out?

The sound of the train on the tracks kept ringing in my ears. I turned to the seat next to me, hoping to find Jeongin, even if it wasn't really him, even if it was just a distant memory of him. But the seat was empty. And I was alone.

I was alone.

And as soon as that reality hit me, heavy tears began streaming down my cheeks. I knew I was hopeless. I knew that no matter how far I ran, my past—the pain of losing the one I loved most, the guilt of abandoning my friends—would follow me. It was slowly killing me, and the worst part was that I was alone.

Or was I?

Usually, I wouldn't have even bothered to ask myself that, but that day something shifted. Because the moment I stepped off the train, someone was there.

Someone was there for me.

I looked up from my feet, and my tear-filled eyes met the familiar gaze of a blonde-haired boy. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish it was Jeongin, even in that moment, I hadn't stopped hoping, somehow, that he was still with me. But I do remember the wave of warmth and relief that washed over me when I saw that Jisung was there.

Someone was actually there.

We looked into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. His face was worried, sad. One look was enough for me to understand that he now knew something more, that he now knew the whole story.

Then, my gaze shifted behind him to see another figure a few steps away. It was Hyunjin, but he wasn't angry anymore, and I could finally recognize the face of that old friend of mine.

Jisung studied my face, noticing how red and swollen my eyes were, and yet I was still trying to hold back my tears in front of him.

"Jisung..." I whispered, so quietly, like I was afraid someone might hear me.

But he didn't need to hear anything else. He quickly walked over to me, stopping just inches from my face. Then, he hugged me so tightly I thought I might choke. But that hug was so warm, I felt my body melting into his arms, realizing how much I needed to be held.

Finally, I let go of all the emotions I had been hiding. I cried so loudly into his shoulder that everyone in the train station couldn't help but glance curiously at us.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." I tried to say between sobs.

"Shh... it's okay, it's okay," Jisung whispered, trying to hold back his own tears.

And we stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms, for what felt like minutes, maybe hours—it didn't really matter. It was long enough for me to release everything I had been holding inside.

Eventually, Jisung spoke. "From now on, you'll never be alone. You won't ever suffer alone again. I promise I'll never leave you."

And I felt like he meant it. I felt like his words were true. I believed him, and in my heart, I was silently thanking him for being there for me, for understanding me.

Even though I couldn't speak, I managed to smile against his shoulder.

Finally, a smile.