✔︎𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧

9. 'Let's gett merried on the moon'

How do you know when you've fallen in love? How do you even know when you've never fallen for anyone, and you've always been known as the cold-hearted kid who never had a crush in her entire life? It's hard to tell. Personally, I've always been blind when it came to feelings, especially when dealing with my own. I've never had a crush on anyone, not as a kid, and not when I started high school. Sometimes, I wondered if I was really incapable of feeling that kind of emotion, or if I was just too oblivious to recognize it. But it often made me wonder: wonder about that feeling everyone seems so passionate about, wonder about that feeling people write books and songs about. It always seemed so distant from me.

I remember back in Busan, I would lose myself in my thoughts, wondering what it would feel like to be in love. After all, I've always been an artist, and isn't love the number one inspiration for artists? And yet, every time someone got close to me, I pushed them away, like something was holding me back. But what? Why was I so distant from love?

"Head in the clouds, huh?" I heard a voice next to me.

It was the second, or maybe the third, of April. I remember it because by then, all the cherry trees had bloomed, painting the streets with a soft, dreamy vibe. I loved watching how the cold wind blew those pink petals from one side of the sidewalk to the other as the sun set, the sky shifting to pretty shades of purple and blue. The stars and the moon were already visible.

I looked at the boy riding his black skateboard, not too fast, keeping pace with me.

I shrugged. "I always have thoughts in my head."

He laughed. "Oh, I know that all too well." His foot kicked the ground, and he sped up slightly.

"Aren't cherry blossoms beautiful?" I asked suddenly.

The boy looked at the cherry trees ahead of us and nodded. "Yeah, I know how much you like them. You're always painting landscapes with cherry trees."

I nodded, once again losing myself in the beauty of that evening. The silence between us was comfortable, as it had always been with Jeongin. No words were needed for us to enjoy each other's company.

"Y/n?"

"Mmh?"

"Do you wanna try skateboarding?"

I looked at him, puzzled. "Why?"

"No particular reason. You gave me this skateboard when we were in middle school, but I've never seen you ride it."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to break my neck."

Jeongin laughed. "Oh, come on, I'll help you."

I sighed, meeting his gaze, noticing the sparkle in his eyes before I slowly nodded. "If you really want me to."

Jeongin clapped his hands excitedly, giggling as he stepped away from his skateboard to give me space. I gulped, not entirely sure I wanted to risk my life like that, but I also didn't want to disappoint him.

"Okay, so step on," he said.

I hesitantly placed my left foot on the board, then the right. As soon as both feet were on, the board started moving slowly, from a small push I hadn't meant to give it. My heart sank as I felt my balance wavering, my hands searching for something to grab.

I felt Jeongin's hand grab mine. "Don't worry, I've got you. Give me your other hand."

I turned fully toward him, now slightly taller than him on the board, and saw his enthusiastic smile. My eyes lingered on our interlocked hands, his touch warm like hot chocolate. Instantly, I felt calmer, wishing we could stay like that all night. I gave him my other hand, which he held tightly, like he was afraid of letting me fall.