What my Wife Doesn't Know...

Does she still love me..?

Today may be the first time that I will see Elena in almost a month. What will she think of me?
She probably hates me, shit I would hate me. Especially after all of the shit I put her through. Now I'm making her go through this.
Does she even still love me after everything?

I'm nervous for visiting hours today. I'm nervous to see Elena, I'm nervous for her to see me. I really dont want her to see me like this, but I dont think I have a choice in the matter.

"Butch gets out today" James reminded me while leaning on the cell bars. I jumped off of the top bunk while copying his stance, "yeah, I know"

"what are you gonna do?"

I shook my head, "I dont know. Fight him and his guys off as hard as I can I guess. It's the only thing that I can really do"

"I'll help you as much as I can. Frank and I."

I frowned, "Frank wants to help me? He barley said two words to me"

"yeah, but he's willing to help, he's been there. Stories told that Butch is a little afraid of Frank. No one knows why though"

I nodded taking everything in, "hey, what happened between Johnathan and Butch? I mean, why is he ao afraid of him?"

"Well isnt it obvious? He raped Johnathan"

I was a little taken aback by his how blunt he was, but I continued to listen,
"I tried to help Johnathan and tell him to be tough, but, Johnathan is not tough. I mean, he did rob a store, but that's all the bad he can do, Johnathan is not made for jail, he couldnt hurt a fly."

I kind of figured that Johnathan was a little softy. I feel bad for him though, "does he still mess with Johnathan?"

"Sometimes he threatens him, but he doesnt mess with him anymore ever since you came along"

I nodded while the guards let us out for showers. After that, it was time for lunch.

Visiting hours are getting close. The closer the hour the more nervous and sweaty I am. I grabbed a tray while they plopped some soggy looking fried chicken, mushy corn and dry white rice onto my plate. This may be the best looking meal I've seen and had out of the three days I've been in here. 

"This may be the best damn meal of the month" James commented, I nodded my head in agreement and as did everyone else. We continued to eat as I looked around seeing Butch no where to be found thank god. I dont know how I'm going to keep them off of me, but I'm not gonna end up like Johnathan, there is no way in hell.

Before I got a chance to finish my meal, it was time to go back to our cells. I walked in the line watching my back making sure Butch or any of his minions weren't trying to creep up on me or anything. Once there, they locked our cells and I waited for visiting hours to arrive. 

***

The guard escorted me to a different room. Explaining to me that I get longer visitation hours because its concerning my trail and talking things over with my lawyer. I walked into what looked to be an interrogation room, but bigger and without the whole two way mirror thing.

There were guards on the outside of the room watching the doors as my lawyer and Elena walked in, no Richie today.