What my Wife Doesn't Know...

So Much For A Happy Ending

"S-She was the one that did this to me" I spoke while sitting across from Richie.

"What are you taking about?"

"Elena, she did this to me she planned this shit!" I cried, like I really cried, like a little bitch. Tears came down, I couldnt breathe as I finally said those words out loud to someone. I needed to get it out. I've been thinking about it too much and I just need to get this shit off of my chest.

"Planned what Mathew? I-I dont understand?" He sat confused staring at me as I held my head down crying, feeling ashamed, not wanting him to see me like this. Boy if I could count the times that I've felt this way, I wouldnt have enough fingers and toes to do it.

I had called Richie right after my encounter with Tasha and Elena and told him to come and see me. I needed someone to talk to yesterday but by then it had been too late for him to come. So, I had to sit in my cell and hold back all of my emotions, all of the things that I've been feeling since she's told me everything. I had to sit in my cell all night thinking about this, thinking about her. How the hell could I have let this go pass my head? Why would she do this? I thought she loved me?

"I-I know I cheated. I-I know I cheated on her" I breathed trying to get some words out through my sobs, trying to help Richie understand.

"I dont know what to do. I cant survive in here. Everything is" I paused while taking another breath, not even sure if Richie could understand anything that I've been saying as I strained to get the words out through my heart wrenching sobs, "e-everything is so fucked up" I finally let out trying to slow down the tears that kept coming. My chest expanding, matching my erratic breathing. 

I wiped the snot off of my nose while continuing to hold my head down. It was then that I had realized that Richie had been sitting next to me, patting me on my back telling me to calm down. I've never cried like this in front of anyone, except my mom. Its times like this that I wish she was still here. I eventually began to relax, the tears began to slow down and my breathing began to calm down, my breaths coming out even as I hick upped silently while Richie sat there and let me get it all out.

I'm sad, sad because the woman that I thought loved me, doesnt love me. I'm sad because I'm getting a divorce, I'm in jail, and my life is ruined, I have nothing left to live for. I'm angry, angry because she did this to me, I believe a divorce would have just been enough but jail!? Thats a little too extreme. Does she know what it's like for me in here!? Its hell on earth.  

"Back to your cells!"

I sighed, quickly wiping my face with my sleeve while sniffing. I dont want anyone else seeing me like this. Damn sure not Butch. I stood, looking at Richie noticing him wiping his face too. I frowned, was he crying with me?

"I'll be back tomorrow alright? And then you can tell me everything"

I nodded while the officer cuffed me, "thanks Richie" he smiled slightly and nodded as they took me away. I inhaled deeply feeling slightly relieved.

Once in the cell, I sat on the top bunk thinking. I have to do six years in here because of her. Gosh I really cant even say her name without the overwhelming feeling of sadness and anger. It almost makes me want to vomit. I cant believe she would go this far, out of all of the years I've known Elena she has never been one to really hold grudges. I guess you never really know a person. I inhaled and exhaled deeply beginning to feel tears coming to my eyes just thinking about this. Jesus, I've never cried this much before. I soon drifted off to sleep, wanting to forget everything for a while.