My chest tightened as I heard that deep voice say "hello".
Out of thousands of voices I hear, it fascinates me how I can recognize his voice at any given time.
"Hello Jungkook...it's been ages. How are you?" says Taehyung. THE Kim Taehyung. I close my eyes and I could see that glorious face...those eyes, that mouth. It would have continued to other body parts but my thoughts are suddenly interrupted. What is that loud fucking noise?
Ohhh, it's just my heart doing a somersault. Like it usually does when anything Taehyung-related comes into view.
Trying to act calmly and hoping that Taehyung can't hear the annoyingly loud beating of my heart, I said "I'm good. I hear all the great things that happened to you. I'm happy for you".
"Oh? Are you really happy for me?"
There was a palpable pause.
"I AM happy for you. Take care always" as I ended the call.
That converstion lasted merely a few seconds but it overwhelmed me like the force that Taehyung is. It's so not fair how he can still affect me this way after so many years of not seeing him. Then I remembered:
Kim Taehyung is a magician... he can make time stop.
He can make the world stop spinning. My world, at least.
He can make things invisible because all I can see is him.
He also made me deaf. Deaf to reason.
Yeap....that's who Taehyung is to little old me, Jungkook.
But wait, did I actually tell Taehyung that I'm happy for him? AM I HAPPY FOR HIM?
Happy for him my ass!!!
This conversation keeps repeating in my mind and I go through the same cycle of emotions. There's anger, hurt, longing, sadness and acceptance. The sequence changes, though.
Right now, what I feel is vague. Kim Taehyung, you may belong to someone else, but I know a part of you will always be MINE.
What's mine is mine and no one can take it away from me!
