Being a farmer has been my greatest teacher so far. It's not something that you can delegate or postpone. You can't fake it either. Farming entails an enormous amount of dedication and if you give it your all, you get rewarded. The concept is really simple: you literally reap what you sow.
This is the same principle I decided to adapt in my life. A no-frills existence.
The weather and the soil were good to me. Our first harvest was a success, and with Yoongi's connections, I was guaranteed steady income. Whatever leftover harvest we had were donated to the local food bank so they don't go to waste. This was how my grandpa raised me and I know I made him proud.
Jeno asked me to go out with him a couple of times and I obliged. Both times were pleasant enough but did not lead to anything.
He finally told me: "Jungkook, I've had feelings for you for a while now. But each time I try to tell you, you give me that look..."
"What look?" I was honestly perplexed and clueless.
"The look that says please don't ask me to fall in love with you. The look that doesn't need words to say that you gave your heart to someone and you never got it back".
And with that, we decided to stay as friends. Friendships last longer anyway. There are no demands, no expectations and therefore no disappointment. Everyone is 'safe'.
J-Hope stayed in contact with me as well and guess what...he and Sandara now have three kids. Where did the time go? Why is everyone but me, having kids? He visits the farm every now and then and gripes about married life. He also made it a point to ask me if I was still in love with Tae. I admitted that I still do but it's all fine. He knew me well; there's no point in hiding it from him.
I told J-Hope "I will always love Tae. But loving someone doesn't mean I have to be in his life, or that he has to be in mine. I still have my moments but somehow managed to go on with my life. I honestly feel that as long as I see that Tae is doing well, then all is well".
It was on one of those visits when J-Hope called Tae and handed me the phone. It was when I told Tae that I was happy for him.
It was true. I was happy for him to a certain extent. Just then I remembered something I read a while back that 'romantic love is when you want someone; mature love is when you want someone's happiness'.
That few seconds that I heard Tae's voice reinforced this notion. I patted myself in the back. You are doing fine, Jeon Jungkook.
