We hit the ground running, literally, when we got back home. Yoongi volunteered to help me set up the farm before he established his new business venture. My plan was to start small and fortunately, my grandpa had enough savings to finance the project. He lived in a meagerly fashion but was not selfish. He said he waited all his life for the person who loved the farm as much as he did.
"Yoongles, just admit it...are you a reincarnation of my grandpa's best friend? Coz I swear, he loooves you!
In his iconic Yoongi shrug, he said "well, can you blame him? He knows I deliver the goods. Literally and figuratively" and flashed his gummy smile.
It was interesting to watch the dynamics between Yoongi and my grandpa. They're like kindred spirits. I may have gone through some shitty times but I have been blessed with a few good people. They lent me their strength when I was at my lowest. Never pushed me. Waited patiently for me to get up.
It was hectic but I haven't felt this alive since....oh never mind. They say most people aim to reach the highest peaks. Not me. I don't mind admiring the view from the bottom. I would rather take one step at a time. One step in front of another and see where it takes me.
My parents called it 'aiming low'.
I called it 'aiming right'.
I can never escape updates about the Kims, much as I tried. Joona loved torturing me with the latest: Kim Taehyung is now the newly-elected mayor of our town. He also made national news as he was apparently the youngest mayor in the country. Good for him, I thought.
Oh, and there's a baby Kim running around. Already??? How long has it been?
I did not allow myself the luxury of dwelling on that. There simply wasn't time. Yoongi introduced me to his circle of friends who owned small businesses - they were going to be my first clients. Once the crops are grown and harvested of course.
It was therapeutic to pour all my energy into my yet-unnamed-farm. Aside from strawberries and the companion crops, we planted marigolds. I learned that they mask the scent of the berries to keep the pests away. The tasks seemed menial but had a purpose. With every step of the process, I felt like the broken pieces of my life were getting pieced back together.
Yoongi came for a visit one time and brought Jeno with him. It was a pleasant surprise. Jeno and I kept in touch after the program in Japan but he remained at a safe distance which I appreciated.
With Yoongi and Jeno by my side, I gathered enough courage to visit J-Min's grave on his birthday. I wouldn't have been able to go by myself. It was still much too painful.
My tears started running as soon as I saw his name on the tombstone. My precious friend gone forever. Yoongi was crying as well and thank God they were with me that day. I was a wreck. I apologized to J-Min for not saying goodbye. I told him I missed him with all my heart. I thanked him for being an angel. I didn't realize how hard I was crying but Jeno did and put his arm around me.
Yoongi, amidst his tears, leaned in to say "he's here. Taehyung is here with J-Hope." Yoongi later told me that he was puzzled about that strange look on Tae's face. He definitely saw Jeno holding me.
We immediately left.
I did not look at Tae's direction. I cannot meet those eyes.
