Reticent | Herophine Fic

Questioning Myself

JOSEPHINE

Waking up slowly, I realise the warmth I fell asleep against last night is now gone and I'm alone. Last night was... incredible. On the tube ride home, I could tell he was nervous. His leg constantly tapped against the floor beside me and his breathing was uneasy. He was massively overthinking it. But that all changed when his lips found mine for the first time and I reminded him not to think about anything. With those words, it's like a switch was flicked in his head and gone was the shy, reticent Hero. Only to be replaced with the bold and confident Hero who told me he wanted to bury himself inside me less than an hour before. Which, let's face it, he did and so much more.

The way he held me, how gentle and careful he was. With every movement and caress of his gentle hands, he had my well-being at the forefront of his mind. Anyone would think it was my virginity he was taking, not the other way around. His eyes never left mine once. As he made every movement, his gaze was upon me, in one way or another. I felt his green eyes searing into me at every moment. Even as he panicked about contraception I knew he'd be okay, he just needed talking down as I've done in the past. It's understandable for him to have panicked about that and a small part of me expected this from him. But as soon as he was inside me, fuck me, I've never felt anything quite like it...

Despite last night being Hero's first time, he knew all my buttons and how to work my body like an expert. Like he'd done this a million times before. Every touch, every thrust, every kiss held something behind it to push both our bodies towards the unbelievable climax. Even though I know Hero, now much better than anyone else, it's so hard to believe that he's never been with anyone. Apart from me, of course. He's just... so good. In so many ways. He was so careful and tentative but in a strange way, during sex, I've never felt so close to anyone. But that changed last night.

Sex has always been a means to an end for me. A good time. A release and relief. But last night, a very big part of me didn't want it to end. I was holding on for dear life to him, hoping to make the feelings of such intense pleasure last for as long as possible. All the way through last night, Hero looked at me like he was looking upon his lover. His first and last lover. And what scares me is that I wanted him to look at me like that. I didn't feel like I was close enough to him, I wanted to be even closer. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself because it was his first time. He was probably just lost in the moment. I'm only his friend with benefits and we ticked off the biggest thing last night. And what a tick it was...

Pushing myself up to sit, I realise very quickly just how achy and sore my body is after last night. I don't know how long it's been since I last had sex but I'm sore. Inside and out. If he wants more, we're going to have to wait. But with every movement I make, the twinges of my muscles and bones remind me just how good a night we really had. I'm curious as to where Hero is. I hope he's not run a mile or left without saying anything - although he wouldn't be able to leave for long. He lives here. Swinging my legs over the bed, I can't stop the groan that comes from me as my internal muscles scream in pain. It's more than an ache. I'm so sore. We weren't even fast and rough, it was slow and well-paced. It's not like he railed me as I asked him to all those months ago when he first collected me from The Knights Templar. Far from it in fact.

I stand to my feet and slowly, pace over to grab Hero's robe. I wrap myself up before taking myself out of the bedroom and onto the small landing. Approaching the stairs, dreading navigating them today, I see steam spilling out of the bathroom into the living area. He's in the shower. No surprise there after last night. Without thinking, I carry myself over to the stairs and take them one by one slowly, my muscles squeezing and shaking as I work my way down. My teeth clamp down into my bottom lip, biting harder and harder with every step I take. Stifling the noises I know would escape from me if I let go. I don't want Hero worrying because I'm sore, so I'll have to do my best to put this to the back of my mind. For him.