Limbo [h.s]

48

KillStation - Illusion

"Were you meant to be far away from me?

I don't know where I belong, but I feel like a You know it's been so long since you've been in my arms
I'm going home where I'll be all alone tonight"

*A/N*

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Chapter 48 Isabel's POV

*TW MENTIONS OF SELF HARM*

"How are you?"

There is something you should know about me if you haven't already figured it out... I'm fucking fragile.

Yes I know I can come across strong and confident but inside my head a whirl wind of whip lash contorts my mind. I'm a complete opposite of how I usually am face to face with someone compared to how I am with myself, much like everyone else in this world. You cannot tell me that you do not lie to your friends when they ask if they look good when in reality, they look like they pieced together that outfit and makeup twenty minutes before they met you. My circumstances may be different as to why I lie to people but all in all, a lie is a lie.

I don't know why I said Jack could stay. I guess I just didn't like the fact that Luka was acting so protective over him. I 100% understand why he is though, and I don't blame him. I just didn't like that someone felt so uncomfortable around me that they felt the need to bring a gun.

Yeah... Jack brought a gun. I think he was trying to be smart about it and hide the thing, but I was trained to spot out these kind of things when I started working for my father. His training methods were far more complex than the ones I completed when I first started in this industry.

I guess that was a smart move on Jack's behalf, but they don't really think I would try and pull anything on them tonight would they?

Obviously I don't mind people being uncomfortable while I'm working but when I'm just going about my day being escorted to these types of things, I hardly see the need for me to be so intimidating that others around me need to possess lethal weapons just to feel safe.

I'm a confusing person, I feel the need to be complex and mysterious but it's very tiring and sometimes I just need to stop thinking about how and what I say as my next sentence in order to relax, but it's on rare occasions that I do end up taking that extra second to breathe before speaking. 

I invertedly sigh, they don't trust me.

Which I get, it's just hard seeing how close they all are. I've always wanted something like that. A family of sorts. I know that'll never happen but it's nice to fantasise about from time to time. Tricking my mind into actually thinking that I could be normal for once.