Surviving the truth

Chapter 1

I met him at Joe's bar. It was the night before I started my first shift as an intern at Seattle Grace Hospital, and the night of the hospital mixer to meet all the incoming interns. I was sitting at the bar table drinking shot after shot of tequila when he walked up beside me. He ordered a single malt scotch and asked me if this was a good place to hang out. I told him this was my first time here, where he replied, this is my first time here too; new to Seattle, for matter of fact. The man asked me what my story was, and I told him I was just a girl in the bar, and then he replied, I'm just a guy in the bar. That is where our story began.

I must have been drunk because when I woke up the next morning, he was laying on my floor butt naked on his stomach. I was running late, and I tossed one of my throw pillows on top of his ass, which woke him up. I couldn't remember his name, but finally he told me it was Derek, and I told him mines; Meredith. I told Derek by the time I get out of the shower, he should be gone, and with that, I ran up the stairs.

I was late to the hospital. After doing rounds with my resident, Miranda Bailey, who is also known as the Nazi, we all went down to the pit. My first patient ever was with a girl name Katie Bryce. She's a teenager who happens to do pageants. Katie was in the hospital because she keeps experiencing seizures and nobody knows why. That was the moment when I realized who I just slept with.

My Boss.

Derek is Dr. Derek Shepherd who is the head of the Neuro department at Seattle Grace. Turns out he was only working at the hospital for a week, hence why he said last night he's new to town. I have read articles and studies he has done while I was in med school, which makes this all much worse. Derek is considered one of the best neurosurgeons, he's almost ten years older than I am, he's my boss, and I had sex with him.

Crap.

We started a fling a few weeks after that. It was mainly just sex since sex was great with him. But then he wanted more; like a real relationship, and I couldn't bare the thought of people knowing we're together, or sleeping together. They will think I'm just using him to get in the OR, which I'm totally not. I didn't even know he was my boss when I first met him for a matter of fact.

It was two months later when I found out I was pregnant. I was shocked as I held the positive pregnancy test. I wasn't sure what to do. I just sort of began seeing Derek, and confessed to my roommates I'm sleeping with our boss. Now I'm having his baby.

I decided not to tell him the night I found out, but a week later. Derek was going to take me to a nice restaurant after our shifts. We decided to meet in the lobby of the first floor. Derek was sitting in one of the chairs looking at paperwork when I walked over to him.

"Somewhere out there is a steak with your name on it, and maybe a bottle of wine."

"See, this is why I keep you around." I smiled.

"So we need to talk." Derek said, getting up from the chair.

"We do need to talk." I agreed.

Derek put his jacket on, and helped me put mine on. It was at that moment when he turned around and stopped, staring a woman who was wearing a fancy fur coat. She walked over to us, and Derek immediately said, "Meredith, I'm so sorry. Addison what are you doing here?"

"Well, you would know if you bothered to return one of my hundreds of phone calls." She then turned to me and shook my hand. "Hi, I'm Addison Shepherd."

"Shepherd?" I stammered.

"And you must be the woman sleeping with my husband."

I looked at Derek sick to my stomach, and it's not just the morning sickness. He is married, and didn't bother to tell me. I've been sleeping with a married man. I didn't say a word, and headed towards the door. Derek was rushing after me.

"Meredith, wait! We should discuss this."

I stopped and turned around. "Here's a thought. No, quit following me!"

"At least let me explain."

"Explain!" I shouted. "You know when you should had explained? The night we met at the bar before any of the rest of it. Yeah, that would had been a nice time to discuss it."

"Look, I know how you feel."

"Oh really? I don't think you do. Because if you did, you would just shut up and just turn around to go back inside because you'd realize I'm this close to running you down with my car!"

When I got home, I ran up to my room, slamming the door shut, and locked myself in there. I wasn't sure how to feel. Obviously I was mad, but I'm not a crier, and I felt like crying.

Damn pregnancy hormones.

The next morning I didn't want to get out of bed and head in. I just didn't want to see nor talk to Derek, and I knew he'd attempt to. I went straight to the intern lockers and changed into my light blue scrubs. Dr. Bailey came in shortly and gave us our assignments for the day. She told me I was on Dr. Shepherd's service. Oops, wrong Shepherd. Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd's service.

Great.

If the day couldn't get better, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd's patient wanted me off her case because she thought I was knowingly having an affair with Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd's husband.

Again, I didn't know he was married. Oh, god, I'm pregnant with a married man's baby.

The day did get a little better, though. Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd defended me, and turns out she was the one having an affair; not Derek. That did make me feel a little better, but still, he should had told me the truth from day one. After my shift at the hospital, I decided to go over to Derek's trailer because I wanted to hear his side of it all.

"One night I came home, I parked my car, and unlocked my house. Something's different. Nothing's different; everything's the same, yet still something's different. And I stand there a while. And then I know. You see, these are moments for me; usually when I'm in the OR, where I know what's going to happen next." He took a sip of his beer. "So I go upstairs. As I'm walking down the hall, I'm trying to prepare myself for what I'm going to see when I enter my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I think I know just shifts. This jacket that didn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize. What I know now is when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just going to see my wife cheating on me, I'm going to see my wife cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend." Derek took another sip of his beer. "It's just so cruel. I left and I came out here."

"And you met me."

"And I met you."

"What was I to you? The girl you screwed to get over from being screwed?" I asked.

Derek didn't immediately answer. "You were like coming up for fresh air. Like I was drowning and you were saving me. That's all I know."

I stood there debating my options. I could forgive him right here and right now. I could tell him the truth about me being pregnant, though I don't know what's going to happen now that his wife is in town. Or I could not tell him at all and get back in my car.

I wasn't sure what to do. So I headed towards my car. I opened the door but didn't get in, obviously giving Derek some hope. But I just stared at him, and before I got in, I said, "I'm pregnant," and I drove away.

This is obviously not my story, but I'm having a hard time writing my own so I'll be posting some from the internet.