Surviving the truth

3| mommy

friends eating lunch. I wasn't paying much attention to the conversation, but I'm sure they're talking about the latest hospital gossip. But back to my options. I could run; I could be transferred to a different hospital and run away to have this baby. That way Derek doesn't have to be involved. Or I could just abort this baby, even though I really don't want to. Then my third option is just stay here and have this baby on my own since Derek is being a huge McAss.

"Earth to Meredith!" Cristina shouted.

"Huh, what?" I asked.

"Daydreaming again?" George asked.

My eyes drifted towards Derek as I saw him enter the cafeteria. He was smiling like he was the happiest man on Earth. Maybe he signed the papers, or maybe he chose to stay with his cheating wife.

"Ugh, I hate him so much!"

"Who?" Izzie asked. "McDreamy?"

"McDreamy is no McDreamy anymore." I said. "He's a huge McAss."

"God, what happened between you and McAss?" Cristina asked.

"He didn't sign the divorce papers. And... he told me he would; there wouldn't be any hesitation. And he didn't sign them but he expects me to be waiting for him."

"Sounds like you're his bitch." Alex commented.

I glared at him. I wasn't in the mood for any fun and games. "I'm not anyone's bitch."

I got up from the table and threw my trash away. I needed fresh air, so I went outside and sat down on one of the benches outside of the hospital. I took my phone out and my eyes started to get watery as I dialed the numbers. I listened to the rings, and I began to sob when I heard a hello on the opposite end.

"Mommy?"

I wouldn't normally call my mother; or even tell her my problems, but I hoped she'd give me some insight of what I should do. My mother and I don't have the best relationship, so I was surprised to hear when she offered me to come visit her in Boston just to get away from all these problems for a few days. She even told me she'll call the chief to get my days off taken care of.

I left two days later. I didn't bother telling anyone where I was going because I'm trying to get away. I arrived in Boston right before five. My mom had a car waiting for me, and it drove me to Massachusetts General Hospital where she's the chief of surgery at. I went up to her office with my suitcase, and I found her sitting at her desk looking over some paperwork.

"Meredith, you're here." I wanted to give my mom a hug, but if anyone knows Ellis Grey, they'd know she isn't a big huger. "How was your flight?"

"Long, but I'm glad I'm here."

Mom told me to take a seat, and I did. "So you're pregnant."

"He's married mom, and I think he's going to stay with her... I just don't know what to do now."

"You don't need a man to raise a child, Meredith." Mom said. "Just take me, for instance. Look how you turned out."

"I wouldn't necessarily call that a complement on you, mom."

"You're a doctor. Not many people can do that. I must have done something right."

I was trying hard not to laugh because growing up, I rarely saw my mother. I mainly had nannies until I was old enough to take care of myself. But I didn't want to ruin this moment I was having with my mother, so I kept those thoughts inside.

"You really think I can take care of a baby on my own, mom?" I asked.

"You can always hire help. You probably will have to when you return to work. But this is your decision, Meredith. If you don't think you are ready for this, just terminate. Save both you and this baby the trouble. But if you think you can handle this, knowing the dad probably won't be around, I'll support you with that decision."

"Thanks. I really needed to hear that."

I took a cab over to my mother's house. I had endless of missed calls from Derek, and not forgetting voicemails I told myself I wouldn't listen to. I could careless about what he had to say to me, and I'm sure he can wait to tell me when I get back in three days. I decided to turn my cellphone off. This trip is to get away from everyone, which means they will be unable to reach me so I can focus on myself and decide what's best for me; which includes me seriously thinking about keeping or terminating the baby.

I hate the sound of terminating it, but maybe it'll be for the best; especially if he's staying with his cheating wife. I guess there's something seriously wrong with Derek if he's choosing to remain married to his cheating wife, and I probably don't want to have a baby with someone who is like that.

No. I don't care. I'm keeping this baby. Derek does not have to be involved, and Addison doesn't have to know I'm pregnant with her husband's baby. I can do this on my own just like my mom did with me. I mean, I think I turned out fine. I graduated from med school and in one of the best residency program in the country.

Okay, Meredith, we're having a baby.