P.R.N

30

I have never dealt with any traumatizing heartbreak in my 24 years of existence. I was sheltered and cared for by my parents. Not having friends did not break my heart because I'm already filled with love. Besides, what doesn't matter to you won't break your heart.

And Cole mattered.

He was not just my boyfriend. When I decided to let go of him, I had to let go of my best friend, too. Because he was my best friend.

Dealing with a trauma and a break up while in Medical School made me experience hell.

A week after the break-up, I decided to go home to my parents' house. I had to go home.

I needed home.

I started sleeping beside Tory. Kapag nakakatulog naman si Tory sa kwarto nila Mama, lumilipat din ako para tumabi.

Before the second semester started, my parents told me that Cole and Tita Karen's going back to the States. They told me that Cole decided to continue and finish Medicine there.

It hurt me... a little too much.

Knowing that Cole had to go that far to stop himself from talking to me. He had to go that far to get away from me. It hurt, but I knew I needed that.

I remained quiet. Alam kong kahit hindi ko sabihin ay alam na nila na hindi na kami okay ni C. However, I told my Mom that my relationship with Cole has nothing to do with her relationship with Tita Karen. I told them to just let Cole and I handle ourselves.

It took me a long time to build my courage to tell my parents about what happened to me. I remember how Mama broke down when she found out. How Papa went to my room that night when he found out.

Papa was just looking at me. I was sitting at the edge of my bed while he's seated in front of me, on the chair that he dragged.

"Pa..." I called him. "Please say something."

For the very first time in my life, I saw Papa broke down. His tears fell abruptly and his shoulders started shaking. It shattered me.

"Anak, I'm so sorry..." He apologized. "It must have been so scary... I wasn't there... Papa didn't know... I'm sorry, love..."

Xavierre started studying Medicine again when the second semester started. I remember the first thing she told me, "Break na rin kayo, no?"

Xavierre, like before, was very bright. She's very smart. Hence she was able to keep her scholarship until the very end of Medical School. She was always bubbly, but as I get to know her, I figured that it was just a facade.

People and their facades.

I thought I was doing better. I thought I was healing properly. I was just focused on my studies and I was finally going back to my routine. Not until I heard the news that Matty's out of the prison.

It started getting dark again. Panic attacks, vomiting, sleepless nights. All the horror came back. It was, indeed, the definition of hell.

My parents filed a restraining order against Matty. They said that it would help for my peace of mind.

Maybe it did.

Maybe not.

Fortunately, Xavierre was with me. She pushed me to attend psychotherapy. She started going home with me. We started living together. She became another home.

We got through our internship and post graduate internship together. We got our MD in our last names together. We reviewed for the Physician Licensure Examination together. We aced it together.