P.R.N

33

"Xavi..."

There was a nice dinner set-up in our unit when I got home. I bet she cooked some of my favorite dishes, too. Ever since I started living with Xavi, I would always come home to a nice dinner set-up when I had a bad day.

She's the most thoughtful person I know.

She always tells me that I deserve it because Emergency Department is much more toxic than Psychiatry. In my opinion, it's unfair to compare. Long term care ang mga nasa ibang area ng hospital. Hindi katulad sa Emergency Room na hindi naman nagtatagal ang pasyente.

Kung mild lang, aasikasuhin tapos pauuwiin na. Kapag naman severe, referral na sa ibang areas kapag stabilized na ang patient.

"Alam mo, alam kong maganda ka, pero huwag ka na masyado mag-inarte diyan." She said. "Parang others!" Dagdag pa nito.

Napangiti na lang ako at pumwesto na sa dining na hinanda ni Xavi.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Hindi ba dapat ako ang nagtatanong sa'yo niyan?"

"You always ask me that, Xavi."

Besides, I don't ask. I observe.

"Okay naman ako." She said before giving me a reassuring smile.

"You don't want to talk about what happened in Baguio?" I finally asked.

"Closure lang."

"Did it go well?" I was a bit uncertain asking that. I didn't want to pressure her.

"Oo naman. Kami pa ba?" She smiled again. "Eh kayo? Nag-closure rin?"

"How does it work?"

"What?"

"Closure." I answered. "How does it work?"

"Ewan ko rin, actually." She answered. "Sabi nila, sasabihin mo raw yung mga unspoken words mo sa ex mo. Pwedeng sama ng loob, or kahit anong gusto mong sabihin na hindi mo pa nasasabi."

I nodded. "So, nasabi mo na kay Tyrone?"

She smiled. "Wala naman akong sama ng loob kay Tyrone, ah?"

I knew that she was going to answer that. Never once did she say anything bad about Tyrone. When it's Tyrone, expect to hear just good things from Xavierre. He must have been a really great boyfriend.

"Ang bait-bait kaya ni Ty!" She proudly said with a smile on her face. "Ikaw? Nasabi mo kay C?"

How do I tell him all those? Where do I start? What will happen next after that?

"It... wasn't his fault."

"Hindi kailangang maging kasalanan niya bago mo sabihin sa kanya." Ibinaba niya ang utensils niya at tumingin sa akin. "You were his girlfriend, Vienne. He deserved to know what was happening. Especially when it has something to do with your relationship with him."

I bit my lips.

"I was just too insecure and... sensitive."

"What hurt you hurt you, Vienne." She said.

I let out a sigh before telling Xavi about what happened between Cole and I in Baguio.

"You still love him." Xavi stated.

"I..." I swallowed the lump I suddenly felt in my throat. "I don't want to love him anymore." I whispered.

"Bakit?" She took a sip on her wine. "Natatakot ka?"